Every day I cringe when opening up diaries on the health care topic; an issue of great importance to me, personally, and the nation. I cringe not just because we have seemed to loose all manner of civility or because of the personal attacks on the newest enemy de jour.
It's also the flying doughnuts. Geez.
They land in tip jars of diarists and those that comment on diaries generally without explanation. And it really needs to stop!
We are in the midst of a family argument over health care where name calling has somehow become acceptable and now we're flinging doughnuts at anyone whose ideas don't jibe with our singular own perfect point of view.
We aren't listening, we're yelling. We don't address the questions and thoughts of others, we just read by them or ignore them and often find it easier to hurl epithets and launch into diatribes. And in the age old tradition, we are making scape goats of many of our long-time allies with whom we disagree.
Those of us who watched our candidate-then-president's cool under fire marveled at his level of discipline as every wretched noun, verb and adjective--every possible invective--was lobbed at him by the right. Apparently, some of us learned little from those observations.
I've had to watch my own 'tongue' as I have a fiery temper when I lose control. But at my ripening age, I have generally learned to step away before I go south. In the past if I made a bad call and was asked to explain an HR, I did or in attempting to do so realized the HR was improper and removed it with an apology. That seems to be how we used to operate.
There's no grace in being wrong in slapping an HR on someone and not having the guts to admit it and remove it. On the other hand, thoughtfulness of one's own actions is recognized and respected. People here often have long memories.
Lately, the flinging of doughnuts at diarists has become the popular method of expressing outrage at an opinion. Today, for instance, there are a number of diaries on the rec list with doughnuts in the diarist tip jars. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?
I should mention that while I don't necessarily agree or disagree with the diarists, their diaries are the usual opinion pieces (though the comments can sometimes be off the charts). HRs abound in the comments as well, some deserved and some not. Almost NONE explained.
While we are usually a fairly disciplined bunch--also called to watch the backs of our friends who are going sideways--it looks like we've lost all sense of decorum not to mention all memory of the proper use of the HR.
So, might I ask, that while we are counting to ten or contemplating an HR we at least review the FAQ (this link goes to Hunter's piece on HRs)on the topic prior to clicking the HR button?
Hide rating: Comments whose only purpose is to disrupt the discussion. Do not hide posts simply because you disagree with what the commenter is saying. Any given user can give out a maximum of five hide-ratings per day. [emphasis mine]
As far as I am concerned, it's okay if the outside world thinks we here are in meltdown over the hot topic of the day. We're running issues through our various and personal BS dectors, wringing them out, adding and subtracting alleged and real "facts" and to me, that's okay and necessary. Many diaries and particularly comment threads offer much to learn from which is WHY I have waded into some with great trepidation.
But how we treat one another in discussion--heated discussion--is of concern.
There are those on this site that worked very hard for President Obama's election and feel discouraged and some feel completely abandoned/betrayed/diminished in that work given any presidential decision. They have that right. And sometimes they are right and sometimes they are wrong.
We don't all look for the same things in the health care bill or decisions on Afghanistan or for that matter climate change. And we didn't all vote for our president (who I happen to love, but disagree with on many, many things) for the same reasons.
And we are all at different levels of understanding politically, historically and on each topic. While one might be brilliant in history, one might not be brilliant on climate change or the economy. Each of these matter.
We learn from others here, and particularly from well written diaries where the diarist has really done their homework and hard links sources to buttress their points and conclusions. Yet, we are still and always free to disagree. It's how we disagree.
If we cannot manage to discipline ourselves here, we have no damn business criticizing others who likewise cannot discipline themselves [read tea baggers, Freeps, etc.].
When we teach children HOW to debate and discuss, we do NOT teach them to just tell someone they are a fuckhead and walk away. Nor do we teach them to hurl invective, or throw pieces of furniture. Think how you teach your own children. And if you don't have children, think how you were taught or not (which might be part of the problem).
So please, can we stop with the doughnut frisbee contest already?