It amazes me how naive most of the world is. I mean, he's AL GORE for Christ's sake! And yet millions of people, or maybe I should call them "sheeple", irregardless, millions of folks worldwide have bought into his absurd fiction. But here's the real truth: there isn't one single shred of scientific evidence to back up the THEORY of global warming.
It seems to me like this country iss setting brand new records for gullibility. If the globe was really getting so much hotter then why did it snow last week? It's May for Christ's sake! Does Herr Gore really think I'm so simple I can be tricked into believing a giant fable that I can prove wrong by looking out the window? How stupid does he think I am?
I’m here to tell y’all to LISTEN UP, PEOPLE! Just because a lot of people say the same thing DOES NOT MAKE THAT THING TRUE! Use your head and Don't Buy The Lefty Lies!
Carbon Emissions Reduction is a pointless fad bound to go the way of 8-tracks and Atari. Does anyone honestly believe we’re hurting the environment by introducing what amounts to minimal levels of CO2, aka The Stuff That Plants Breathe So They Can Grow? Now, I’m sure you’re all ready to get bent out of shape and start parroting the ubiquitous alarmism that permeates our media. That's what they want you to do. But you're better off thinking for yourself. The reality of the truth is that that it’s nothing more than a leftist shell game designed to hurt American companies and make them unable to compete in the global market. While we’re busy shutting down our industry because Oh No we’re generating far too much plant food, what do you think it is that the Chinese factories are doing?
But liberals have never tried to disguise their hate of private enterprise. They can’t stand to see smart, hardworking Americans succeed. Don’t believe me? Just turn on the news. Liberals have made it more than clear with their usurious new tax policies; you have no right to your own money. Work your ass off? Provide for your family? Well too bad—they’re gonna snatch your money right off your plate and give it to poor welfare moms too lazy to work, if they’re not busy wasting it on million dollar earmarks for sex toys endangered Invasive Ecuadorian Humming Bees.
Our worst nightmares are coming true—overnight we’ve become a fascist state. Grand Dictator Obama is pulling the wool over all our eyes. He’s a megalomaniac who won’t settle for leader of the free world--he wants to be the Messiah. He wants the world to worship him. I ask you, what kind of terrible father only plays with his kids when there’s cameras around? You look at his eyes, the man is nothing more than a walking teleprompter, all he does is give speeches about how terrible America is and how she is responsible for all the problems in the world. Not that we could expect anything better from a man who converted to Christianity just to run for President.
First he was the most liberal senator in the senate, then he was the most liberal president ever to take office, and then he was the fastest President ever to leave the country to go on a Blame America speaking tour of the world--You could read the disappointment on his face when he learned the USSR wasn’t around anymore and he didn’t have a chance to surrender to them and make this country instantly communist so instead he’d have to get George Soros, perhaps the most evil, manipulative man on the face of the earth. If he and his media empire had their way, all boys would be forced to marry a dog the day they turn 14.
And of course Obama’s gay army of polyamorous genderqueer zoophiles were clamoring in the streets uncertain whether they should wave the flag or burn it after they’d spent so many decades smoking hashish and hating the United States they didn’t know what else to do. Don’t be surprised when "reforms" pushed as "progressive social programs" means "wealth redistribution," and your parents’ house fills up with pregnant inner city black teenagers whose own families are too lazy to provide for their own kin, as liberals use their typical phony "idealism" and "altruism"; liberals obviously don’t care about "communism,"they don’t want to work in a field, they just want to make a LAW that says God doesn’t’ exist and they don’t care about the poor they are just jealous of rich people, but soon we’ll all be poor when gas prices go up to the sky and we have to sell our whole country to the arabs because Democrats are afraid of everything. They know if we drilled for oil offshore we wouldn’t have to buy from the arabs any more because we’d be making all our own oil so no more money going to Obama Bin laden and If George Soros pretends to care so much, why doesn’t he pay for the CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL REPUBLICAN PARTY MEMBERS!
GREAT WORK GUYS!
Congratulations on your platform that has become so preposterous and incoherent as to be utterly indistinguishable from satire!
Here's to the Republican Party and the significant part of their base who I swear to God must be playing around, acting like as if the whole thing’s a very dense, very complicated gag that’s simply taking a long, long while to come to the punchline! Cheers, fellers! Cheers to all y'all!