Since the publication of the Obama administration's DoJ brief on Smelt v. United States late last week, I have been surprised by two things: the utter thunderous silence of the mainstream media on the subject, and the lack of courtesy and respect shown by many on this site.
I teach both high schoolers and middle schoolers, and here's a fun game I play with them. When I hear them toss out the perennial and somehow-never-old "that's so gay" or use "gay" in a derogatory manner (and trust me, rare is the high schooler or middle schooler who uses the word in anything BUT a derogatory manner), I suggest this simple substitution: try saying "that's so black" instead. Of course they recoil, as they should. Who would say such a thing?! We're not racists! And actually, they're really not -- at least in their speech. If they have private and deep-seated prejudices, as surely many of them do, they've learned that public expression of those prejudices when it comes to race is 100% unacceptable -- to faculty, to administration, and most importantly of all, to their peers, who would ostracize the offender immediately and totally, with all the unmatched social ferocity of the 18-and-unders.
Might I suggest that plenty of adults around here should apply a similar test to their diaries and comments? It's a simple test, and here it is in the grown-up version: if you wouldn't say it about the African-American civil rights struggle, don't say it about the gay civil rights struggle. If you wouldn't say it to an African-American about the African-American civil rights struggle, don't say it to a gay American about the gay civil rights struggle.
I think I have now read every comment on this site on nearly every diary on the issue of the infamous brief, and I'm appalled at how nakedly distaste for gay men and women can stalk these boards. I have seen comments that exhort gay men and women to "grow up," to stop being so "emo," to stop exercising "hyperbole," to just "calm down," to "cry me a river," to apply the use of "logic" and "perspective." I've even seen some commenters scolding gay men and women that after all, there are other, more important issues to deal with right now, and do they really want all the polar bears to drown, and all the toddlers to die in the streets from lack of affordable health care? And I'm trying to imagine these same people, earnest progressives all, using those same words to an African-American faced with a setback in civil rights, and I just can't. I cannot imagine that language like that would be acceptable. Of course it wouldn't be.
If there is perspective to be gained, if there is another side to seeing that infamous brief, what makes straight commenters and diarists think that they should be the ones to offer it? Can you imagine the audacity, were the issue a racial one? White folk would bloody well keep their opinions to themselves, and would, at least publicly, defer to the opinions and views of the African-American community on the issue. Taking African-Americans to school and trying to explain that, come on now, things really aren't so bad, and why don't you just calm yourself down, would be recognized as patronizing, unacceptable, and racist. Why can this community not apply the same standards of respect to the gay community?
Please try to do better, ladies and gentlemen. Remember those teachers who taught you better manners, and try to make them proud.