From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Duel!
War breaks out in the C&J comments yesterday morning:
Cheers to kicking Droogie's asssssss.
---Kossack Jeff Lieber
I can kick your ass with or without caffeine, Hollywood.
---Kossack droogie6655321
I'm coming for you, flyover-stater and no 6655321 is going to save your butt.
---Kossack Jeff Lieber
Activating Droogie units numbers 0000001 through 6655320. We're coming for you and your billy-goat beard won't save ya.
---Kossack droogie6655321
It all started---as so many flame wars do---with an errant comma and, as you can see, it's spiraled out of control into a Metaland melee that is likely to join "Franken vs. O'Reilly," "Athens vs. Sparta" and "Paper vs. Plastic" in the annals of history's titanic rivalries. And as the appointed referee in this kerfuffle, there's only one thing I can say to these two:
"F-off!"
Yes, an old-fashioned Fundraise-off to benefit Netroots for the Troops. Here's how it's gonna work: Droogie6655321 (aka "The Hunky Heartland Hercules") and Jeff Lieber (aka "The Cool Coastal Crusher") will each write a diary in which they'll raise funds for NFTT. Whoever raises the most money to help us pack 300 relief boxes at Netroots Nation in August for our troops overseas wins. No tactic is off-limits. No plug is too shameless. The only thing they can't do is rewire the servers to auto-ban Kos from his own blog (mostly because I called dibs on that in 2004. I'm this close to pulling it off...all I have to do is figure out what a server is).
Your job: 1) Vote in the poll below to determine who goes first. The one with the most votes by 6pm ET today will post tomorrow morning at 10am ET, and the other will post Thursday at the same time. Keep in mind that the poll is not a popularity contest---the one who posts on Thursday could have an advantage over the one who posts Wednesday...or not. So think strategically! To maintain my impartiality, I'll refrain from voting and will donate $25 to both of them. And 2) Read their diaries tomorrow and Thursday and, if so moved, rec and toss some coin into their virtual Viking hats.
I have no idea how this will turn out. But if it helps stem further pixelshed---that is to say, if I can help stop their incessant whining at each other while raising money for a great cause---I can go to my grave with a clear conscience. And, hopefully, a milk chocolate casket.
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Note: Starting Thursday, the C&J corporate office is raising interest rates from mildly curious to "Do tell!!!"
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: 29
Days `til Windjammer Days in Boothbay Harbor: 7
Increase in lobbying expenses by Pfizer so far this year compared with a year ago: 119%
(Source: USA Today)
Percent of David Gregory's two Republican "roundtable" pundits (Joe Scarborough and Mike Murphy; there was no one from the left on the panel) on Meet the Press who were hawking new books: 100%
Percent of American women working outside the home in 1970: 42%
Percent working outside the home today: 59%
(Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics via the Chris Matthews Show)
Drop in consumer borrowing in April: -$15.7 billion
(Source: Portland Press Herald)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Look, people, there are a lot of things in America today we may not like. Abortion, the explosion in online porn, whatever. But what makes America great is that we can coexist with that we dislike without going jihadi on it. You may not like gay marriage, but society is evolving on this issue whether you like it or not. Though many still oppose it, 57% of young voters support it. Is opposing gay marriage as a party worth continuing to alienate the future electoral majority in America? That is not political opportunism. That is reality, one even Dick Cheney has now conceded. One hack scribe's humble opinion. You are free to slam me now. The Bar is Open.
---Commenter JT Simpson at Breitbart's "Big Hollywood" blog
All together now: One...two...three... Hey---that really is kinda Classy!!!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: I already have my Winner of the Week picked out: Dyno-Rod ("After" photos are here)
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CHEERS to going green. I can't keep track of every moment-by-moment development in Iran because it seems like everything changes every five minutes. The Cliffs Notes version that's semi-reliable:
A sea of protestors...pissed but peaceful...many beaten, one killed by thugs in Darth Vader helmets and militia motorcycle gangs...Obama says we're stayin' out of it, but "Go, protestors!!!"...Mullahs vow to look into the matter for at least five seconds before afternoon tea and nappytime...the vote tallies look batshit crazy...Diebold issues statement: Don’t look at us, man, we had nothin' to do with it...Mousavi appears and urges protestors to continue their demonstrations while he fights to have results overturned...Thomas Jefferson magically appears to reiterate: "Every generation needs a revolution"...Ahmadinejahd acts defiant on the outside but on the inside he's thinking to himself, "Oh, shit!"...he leaves the country to soak in the healing waters of Russia...This is not your father's Iran...Hoo-whee, Iranians are sexy when they're angry.
What to watch for today: if the intensity of the demonstrations remains high; if the Grand Ayatollah budges; if communications are cut even further (like that's doing the government any good); if police/militia violence escalates; if protestors adjust their tactics to stymie crackdown attempts; if the media gains or loses interest. So much for a nice quiet June knitting booties at the beach.
JEERS to a most unsatisfactory meal of crumbs. John and Joe over at Americablog have been hounding the Obama administration over its foot-dragging on the civil-rights-for-gays issue. So far all we've gotten from the "fierce advocate" president are a few tickets to the White House Easter Egg Roll, a pride month "proclamation" (in fairness, it was written on a fine swath of chiffon) and eye-poppingly crude support for the "Defense of Marriage Act." Now John hears that the White House may be ready to toss a few scraps to the GLBT community in the hopes that we'll get all dewy-eyed over The One again:
- Something on Hate Crimes.
- Federal benefits for partners of gay federal employees.
- A gay ambassador.
Let me explain something. All of that is very sweet and nice. But it's all very 1990s. Bill Clinton and George W Bush both appointed gay ambassadors, so you get no kudos there. Federal benefits for partners of gay federal employees is, again, nice, and will certainly benefit the handful of gays who work in the government. But again, it's very 1990s, in terms of issues on the gay community's radar. And finally, Hate Crimes. Nice bill, important, but totally bottom of the barrel in terms of its importance compared to DOMA, ENDA, and DADT.
It's hard to put into words the disappointment (not to mention whiplash) the gay community is feeling right now over being aggressively wooed during the '08 campaign and then---let's just say it---shit on during the actual presidency. All this time I thought he was talking about "hope and change," and now it appears he might have been saying "Nope and Shortchange." It's either a remarkable betrayal, or we need to change the batteries in our Beltones.
CHEERS to Doc Barack. And having gotten that gay rant out of my system, let's talk health care. I thought President Obama knocked another speech out of the park yesterday, telling the AMA---not the friendliest audience---that a public option in health care reform isn’t the devil. Now we'll see if he has the stones to practice tough love on the lobbyists and status-quo-loving Republicans (oh, and Democrats like Max Baucus) lining up to get as little reform passed as possible. As for me, I have my own concerns. Starting with: is a "catheter-and-trade" program really necessary?
JEERS to four more years of...him. On June 16, 1932, President Herbert Hoover was nominated for a second term at the Republican National Convention in Chicago. It was a lackluster affair, as evidenced by the convention's official slogan: "We're Screwed!" (But it looked swell on a bumper sticker.)
JEERS to the dumbest poll question of the week: CNN.com yesterday asked, with NO context of any kind, mind you: Would you trust a Web site to help you make decisions? A whopping 73 percent voted "No." Right before they went off to compare car prices, self-diagnose the strange rash that appeared on their hiney, check the weather, look at colleges, see how the oddmakers are handicapping the baseball season, previewing tunes, Googling potential vacation destinations, and reading the latest porn reviews...online. I want the time I just wasted writing about your stupid poll back, CNN. (I'll take it in nanseconds, please.)
CHEERS to tummy ticklers. The world's first roller coaster debuted at Coney Island 125 years ago today. Commemorate the event by vomiting on someone you love.
JEERS to angry, greedy bastards. Holy mackerel on a popsicle stick:
The former top executive of American International Group Inc. plundered an AIG retirement program of billions of dollars because he was angry at being forced out of the company, a lawyer for AIG told jurors Monday at the start of a civil trial. Attorney Theodore Wells told the jury in Manhattan that former AIG Chief Executive Officer Maurice "Hank" Greenberg improperly took $4.3 billion in stock from the company in 2005, after he was ousted by the company amid investigations of accounting irregularities.
"Hank Greenberg was mad. He was angry," Wells said in U.S. District Court of the emotional state of the man who, over a 35-year-career, built AIG from a small company into the world's largest insurance provider. He said the saga is a story of "anger, betrayal and cover-up."
I can relate, man. When I got fired from my job over the phone nearly two years ago, I got so pissed I went to the supply closet and made off with three pencils, seven paper clips and, even though I'd totally forgotten what it's used for, a bottle of Wite-Out. My trial starts Thursday in Smallest Claims Court.
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Five years ago in C&J: June 16, 2004
JEERS to stupid white men. George Will concludes on `This Week' that, in this election year, "...the Democratic Party has one great conviction and that is there aren't enough abortions." Media Matters saw it, too, and so can you. I'd sew this guy's lips together if he had any.
JEERS to religious bigots. Southern Baptist Convention says "FU" to Baptist World Alliance and votes to secede. The reason: the rest of the world's Baptists don't hate women, gays or liberals hard enough, and if they can't lower their standards to our level, screw 'em. Gimme me an Amen!
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And just one more...
CHEERS to "A moment of peace before wading back into the shit." On his way home from the Bonnnaroo festival in Manchester, Tennessee, The Rude Pundit noticed an odd Gandalf lookalike walking along the road, and did what most of us wouldn’t bother to: he stopped and talked with him. Turns out his name is "Pilgrim George," and he's walkin' (and walkin' and walkin') for his God, getting by on the meager possessions he carries with him, and the kindness of strangers. I'm not religious (although I sometimes feel spiritual when I drink), but I appreciate Rude's takeaway lesson:
In an era when all the fake Christians palm off their violence, their bigotry, and their hateful speech as being a case of God-mind reading, whether it's in shootings at clinics or Glenn Beck trying to convince us that small violence is an indicator of the hellish endtimes to come, and no matter where you stand on religion and Gods, it's encouraging to know that a man can put on tire tread bottomed sandals and wander the earth in order to ask us to be better people.
And make it look so easy.
Have a great day. stay classy. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) got two presents that sounded lovely from nonpolitical family friends: a ‘glass pumpkin’ worth $675 and a ‘Bill in Portland Maine ruby and diamond brooch’ worth $2,250."
---Roll Call
via Think Progress
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