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We all know the former President George W. Bush is now going to help in fund-raising for the victims in Haiti.

Below is a preview of a few of the phone conversations the Bush is likely to have with some potential donors....

W--Rummy, this is George, how are ya?  Been awhile---yeah, yeah, I know.
 Listen, you saw they had that trouble down in Haiti; and fucking Obama got me to try to help out.  So, you are one of my first calls.  
Look, you made a shitload of money from all those damn contractors  you sent to Iraq---so do me a favor and pony up some to the cause, willya?

Rumsfeld---Fuck you, W, you bailed out on me.  We couldda won that damn thing, if you left me in there.  You had to listen to your advisors, and chicken out ---like you always did.   Goodbye!

W----Ah, Ok....

Next call

W----Hey, Scooter, how's it going?  Nice to be free, huh? Hey, listen, remember I said whwn I kept you out of jail--you'd owe me?   Well, I need money!  

Scooter Libby---What happened, someone find that loot you stashed in Paraguay?

W---No, no.  I've been tapped to solicit funds for this damn earthquake thing down in Haiti.  I want a donation from you, say $100,000?  You can do it--Cheney paid you enough to keep your mouth shut.

Libby---He told  you that?   Dick didn't pay me squat; said he was going to; but you know how he lies...

W---Really?  Shit, alright then, how about $5,000----it will look good for your image.

Libby--Yeah, Ok--not a bad thought.

3rd call:

W----Karl, W here.  You know why I'm calling---I want you to donate some money for Haiti.

Rove---Bullshit, let them rot!

W---Karl, that's what we did in New Orleans---I can't fuck this one up too.  Now what can you do?  Couple hundred thousand?

Rove---No way; screw it!!

W---Look, Karl, everybody's giving me shit---do I have to get tough with you, and tell what I know about Plamegate?

Rove----Ha!   You don't have the balls, and you know it!   You're in this deeper than Dick---and he's in it up to his eyeballs.  Fuck off!!

W---Same to you, Karl Bye!!

W---(to himself)   Damn, this is hard work......time for a break.

Originally posted to Phil S 33 on Sat Jan 16, 2010 at 07:47 AM PST.

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