We all know the former President George W. Bush is now going to help in fund-raising for the victims in Haiti.
Below is a preview of a few of the phone conversations the Bush is likely to have with some potential donors....
W--Rummy, this is George, how are ya? Been awhile---yeah, yeah, I know.
Listen, you saw they had that trouble down in Haiti; and fucking Obama got me to try to help out. So, you are one of my first calls.
Look, you made a shitload of money from all those damn contractors you sent to Iraq---so do me a favor and pony up some to the cause, willya?
Rumsfeld---Fuck you, W, you bailed out on me. We couldda won that damn thing, if you left me in there. You had to listen to your advisors, and chicken out ---like you always did. Goodbye!
W----Hey, Scooter, how's it going? Nice to be free, huh? Hey, listen, remember I said whwn I kept you out of jail--you'd owe me? Well, I need money!
Scooter Libby---What happened, someone find that loot you stashed in Paraguay?
W---No, no. I've been tapped to solicit funds for this damn earthquake thing down in Haiti. I want a donation from you, say $100,000? You can do it--Cheney paid you enough to keep your mouth shut.
Libby---He told you that? Dick didn't pay me squat; said he was going to; but you know how he lies...
W---Really? Shit, alright then, how about $5,000----it will look good for your image.
Libby--Yeah, Ok--not a bad thought.
W----Karl, W here. You know why I'm calling---I want you to donate some money for Haiti.
Rove---Bullshit, let them rot!
W---Karl, that's what we did in New Orleans---I can't fuck this one up too. Now what can you do? Couple hundred thousand?
Rove---No way; screw it!!
W---Look, Karl, everybody's giving me shit---do I have to get tough with you, and tell what I know about Plamegate?
Rove----Ha! You don't have the balls, and you know it! You're in this deeper than Dick---and he's in it up to his eyeballs. Fuck off!!
W---Same to you, Karl Bye!!
W---(to himself) Damn, this is hard work......time for a break.