For the past couple of months, I've watched because it's all I could do was watch. I don't mean simply that I'm one person and not a fat cat in Washington. I mean because I have to work nine to five to pay bills and still with money running out. I'll probably have to get a second job. So I've watched and one thing after another has happened.
And now they put a Republican in place of Ted Kennedy - a man that I grew up thinking was some kind of monster in Washington because of my parents' beliefs. How wrong I was.
I grew up in a very much what is now a Tea Party household. Rush Limbaugh is literally on every radio in the house. My dad works at home and so every radio is on during the day, so he can go from floor to floor, room to room, without missing a word that fat bastard says. They even braved New York City when he had a late night tv show to be in the audience. My parents are married to Fox News. Glenn Beck is some kind of superhero. Bill O'Reilly could be God, for all they know.
The night we elected Barack Obama as president, I got out of work late. I was actually relieved. I live in a small borough and knew there would be next to no line. I also knew that I would avoid going to the polls with my family, as has always been a custom. My parents, despite their beliefs, got us involved at least in voting. They urged us to vote and we all walked over to vote as a family. So I knew I would miss out this time because they would have already gone.
My dad was waiting, chatting with the people outside. I went in, voted and came back out. He walked with me. And proceeded to tell me everything evil he "heard on the radio" that Obama was going to do. As if this would make a difference, as I already voted. I never spoke to him about who I was going to vote for, but he certainly knew. He saw the envelope that came with my new voter's registration when I changed my party to vote for Obama in the primary. He knew I wasn't a Republican anymore.
When the numbers came in that night for Ohio, basically ensuring Obama's victory, my father was enraged. He was absolutely furious. He told me that I would be paying for this for the rest of my life. He meant in money because that's what Republicans only seem to care about to me these days. Money. It's always about the money. But I would be paying for this because the Evil Black Democrat was president and he would raise our taxes. He'd force universal healthcare on us. He would do every horrible thing that guys like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck were gnashing their teeth about for the past year.
Why is it that I could stand up to my family? Why do I endure one low blow after another by my parents whenever they start talking at me (as opposed to 'with me') about politics? Why is it that I can do this, but the people I voted for seemingly cannot? There's always some excuse. We need a "supermajority" - whatever the Hell that's supposed to mean. Why is it so hard to stand up to these people and point them out for what they are - liars. Lying so much that they believe their own lies. Lying to make a profit. And then our own people seem to cowardly or hesitant to call them on it.
Yes, I am going to be "paying for it" for the rest of my life. I wasn't asking for a miracle. I wasn't asking for a Messiah. Maybe I naively believed we could make some change. Maybe it's too early to tell what will happen. All I know is I'm so disgusted. So very much disgusted. It's been a growing feeling and tonight is just another shovel of disgust. Disgust for the media, for everyone in government. Disgust for myself for all the things I want to scream at my parents because I know my father will be calling me up 'to talk' about what's happened.
And with that, I'm going to put the new Star Trek movie on and go to bed. I'm sure I'll be over it in the morning. Coffee helps me in thinking clearly. But right now, the word is: disgusted.