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Kossacks, there comes a time when a community must admit defeat and adopt the tactics of its enemies. Clearly, the tea party has single-handedly elected Scott Brown and crushed our socialist dreams. They have shown Obama to be the true nazi/kenyan/muslim(terrorist)/tiger woods that he is. Their protests were credible, informative and persuasive.

From where I stand, there is only one path back to power: calling everyone that opposes you a Nazi.

Yes, I know that this is ignorant and historically insane. Yes, it trivializes the holocaust by equating it with basic state policies like universal health care. BUT, it must be done.

Let's think and act like teapartiers. Also, you might want to gain between 20 and 50 pounds.

How would teapartiers take down a candidate like Scott Brown?

They would make up fake/racist/insane stories about Scott Brown and demand that that media pay attention to them. Here are some exaples:

Scott Brown is a lesbian

Scott Brown wasn't on that swiftboat. His medals are illegitimate! I have a guy who says he was Scott Brown's doctor in 'nam and he says Scott Brown wasn't hurt at all!

Scott Brown isn't a resident of Massachusetts. He was born in Kenya! And he's a Nazi!

Scott Brown was involved in shady land deals, and used rural airstrips to traffic cocaine.

Scott Brown tricked his best friend into killing himself.

Scott Brown is a Muslim, and he likes palling around with terrorists.

Scott Brown says he invented the internet when everyone knows that Ronald Reagan invented the internet.

As a tea-party-inspired thought experiment, let's try to come up with (mostly nazi-themed) rumors and slogans to protest Scott Brownshirt*!

*By the way, someone told me that brownshirt had something to do with nazi and his last name is Brown so I thought about it and changed it to Scott Brownshirt because he's a nazi for being bad.

Originally posted to AfterThought on Wed Jan 20, 2010 at 04:48 PM PST.

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