Setbacks. We all have them. WHEE has seen a number of useful diaries lately from people who were experiencing setbacks, pulling out of them or just feeling in the doldrums.
Welcome back to the group read, initiated by Edward Spurlock, of Dr. David Kessler's The End of Overeating. We're up to Ch. 44, "Avoiding Traps: On Obsession and Relapse." To find prior diaries in this series, punch up Edward Spurlock's latest installment, on Ch. 43. His links can lead you all the way back to Ch. 1, if you are so inclined.
Let's see what more Kessler has to say about some of the many mental pitfalls that await the unwary weight-loser.
WHEE (Weight, Health, Eating and Exercise) is a community support diary for Kossacks who are currently or planning to start losing, gaining or maintaining their weight through diet and exercise or fitness. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are working on your weight or fitness, please -- join us! You can also click the WHEE tag to view all diary posts.
BTW: for those who have waded their way through the major messages of The End of Overeating, it is my opinion that the kernel of Kessler's good advice on eating lies in two chapters: Ch. 41, and Ch. 42.
If anyone has missed them, it is worth going back and giving those two diaries a read. Valuable in itself, their content will be even more fully appreciated with an understanding of the neurological and behavioral rationale of the earlier chapters. In these later chapters of Part 5, I feel that Kessler is primarily weaving in a few loose extra insights. Part 6, the final part, will be starting shortly.
The first pitfall is obsession.
You are an obsession
I cannot sleep...
There is no balance
No equality
But still
I will not accept defeat.
--"Obsession," from Animotion's debut album, 1984
Integral to any attempt to change a habit is concentration on what we want to accomplish, which includes avoiding unwanted behavior. Yet this concentration requires thinking about that very behavior. And thinking about the behavior is a cue that feeds the very urge we are trying to avoid.
The discomfort of continual inner conflict can make us feel anxious, deprived, and fatigued. Those emotions also feed the unwanted urge.
I feed you, I drink you
By day and by night;
I need you, I need you
By sun or candlelight...
Kessler seems to have one answer for this quandary: try, try again. By persistence, we eventually make a little tentative progress and the balance begins to shift in favor of the new habits we want to adopt.
But, we wonder, will the pressure of inner conflict ever let up? Will we have to live with this tension forever? Will we have to live with rigid rules forver? Will we ever be able to feel relaxed about eating?
Kessler is optimistic about this for most people. He does share an anecdote about one woman who has maintained normal weight for years only by sticking to an extremely restrictive diet with rigid patterns, an accoomplishment whose success, he states, can be judged only by her. I would say that if this allows her to feel relaxed about matters of food and eating, a success it may be. Kessler believes most of us will eventually find ourselves in a place where things are easier.
Another pitfall is discouragement.
"Setbacks are inevitable," Kessler states. The low emotion of discouragement at a setback can, in another circular process, further feed the unwanted urge.
My fantasy has turned to madness,
All my goodness has turned to badness.
My need to posess you has consumed my soul;
My life is trembling, I have no control
Have respect for the difficulties of the process, Kessler suggests. Remember that, as bad as the feeling of loss-of-control can be, when we do achieve greater self-direction, it feels correcpondingly good.
The third type of pitfall is excuses.
Granting ourselves permission to engage in unwise eating "just this once" can be a slippery slope. It may possibly start with a moment of discouragement or a moment of elation. It can expand to include other high moods and low moods, other types of occasions, and pretty soon, the excepetions become more common than the healthier patterns we are trying to develop. Then we start arguing with ourselves again on many occasions, and with this internal dialogue we can be delivered right back to Pitfall One.
The kinds of things that constitute the thin edge of the wedge for different people, that initiate the excuse-making pattern, vary greatly from person to person, Kessler states. Even reaching one's goal weight can turn into one.
A rather sobering chapter.
I think that an exception once in a while is a good thing, actually -- for one thing it helps keep the body and mind from getting bored and irritable with a monotonous diet. But it is a good point to stay conscious of exceptions, and not let them come up willy nilly just because of an "off" moment, or a "high" one.
Also, exceptions don't have to consist of crummy, "hyperpalatable" items that are engineered to stimulate cravings without ever satisfying them, as Kessler himself has shown.
Below the housekeeping is a poll on occasions where we may make a slip. It's purposely designed as a "forced choice" asking for the MOST likely occasion...but I have still left an out for the Olympic fence-sitters, of whom I tend to be one. ;-)
Please sign up for an empty spot by replying to tip jar! WE ESPECIALLY NEED DIARISTS THIS THURSDAY AND FRIDAY!
Update: Thursday and Friday p.m. now covered. Thanks, Sychotic1 and debbieleft! Additional signups welcome.
Scheduled WHEE diaries:
January 27
Weds AM - ???
Weds PM - Edward Spurlock
January 28
Thur AM - ??
Thur PM - Sychotic1
January 29
Fri AM - ??
Fri PM - debbieleft
January 30
Sat AM - ??
Sat PM - Edward Spurlock (Kessler, Ch. 45)
January 31
Sun AM - ???
Sun PM - ???
February 1
Mon AM - NC Dem- Muscle of the Month- External Obliques
Mon PM - ???
January 26
Tues AM - ???
Tues PM - Clio2 (Kessler, Ch. 46)