Since the inauguration of President Barack Obama the Republican party has spun off a new more conservative party referring to themselves as the Tea Bagging Party. In the spirit of those radically conservative former Republicans I propose a new Democratic offshoot named after male genitalia as well, the Balls Party.
Unlike the Tea Baggers, members of the Balls Party don't have to be more radical than their Democratic counterparts. They just need to legislate their ideas with balls. Lets examine how the Balls Party may look.
If you're elected President as a member of the Balls Party with a supermajority in the Senate and a large majority in the House you take that public mandate and force your ideas through the Congress. You safely assume that the major points of your campaign are well accepted by the public and you don't let the opposition stand in your way.
As in real life, having balls doesn't mean you have to be a dick. In fact balls and dicks are completely different parts of the male genitalia. So as a member of the Balls Party you can enter office with good intentions and the willingness to work with the opposition party(s). In good faith, you lay out your major legislative ideas to the opposing party(s) and you listen to their suggestions and grievances. All those suggestions and grievances of course should be made public either through CSPAN or official transcripts preventing your opposition from saying one thing in public while doing another behind closed doors. You acknowledge that ideas from other point of views are constructive and you weed through the many suggestions to see what may be a legitimate addition to your legislation and what may be a constructive concession. However, not once do you sell out any of your major ideas in the process.
If your opposition begins abusing Congressional rules in their favor you don't sit back and accept it. You find ways to abuse those same rules in your own favor. It may take balls to bring a knife to a gun fight, but balls or not you're probably gonna lose. So the Balls Party will always ensure that their playing field is even.
A Balls Party President with a public mandate or a Balls Party majority in Congress would never succumb to the opposition. Once you succumb you suddenly lose all your political stamina for the next legislative fight. You'll have to wait while your political power slowly builds losing precious time in the process. Its important to ensure you never succumb keeping yourself strong and ready for more!
The National Balls Party Committee will employ a smart group of people similar to the writers of the Daily Show who's sole purpose it is to research their opposition and point out their comical hypocrisies or outrageous lunacies in fun and entertaining ways. As examples, your opposition will never be able to run as a "Family Values Voter" if they're ever caught with a mistress or a prostitute. Or your opposition will never be able to run in favor of "Traditional Marriage" if they've ever been divorced or remarried.
In the unfortunate circumstance that you find the Balls Party no longer in the Presidency or a majority in Congress you have the balls to accept that your current ideas for the country aren't inline with those of the American public. Remember having balls means being a man. How much of a man are you if you keep hitting on that one girl who's obviously not interested in you? You're just being a douche then. So you have to be man enough to accept defeat and allow the new majority holding opposition the right to pass the legislation they campaigned on to the American public. You have to be man enough to reevaluate your ideas and principles and align your platform with the will of the people.
So this is the new political party I'd like to see created from the Democratic Party. Who do you think would be a good leader? How can we make fun hates with balls hanging from the brim? Please add your own ideas to the new Balls Party in the comments below!