When in the course of Personal events it becomes neccessary for a People to dissolve the Legal Bindings which Deny unto them the separate and equal status to which the Laws of Nature and Nature's God entitle them, a decent Respect for the Opinions of Personkind requires that they should declare the injustices which impel them to demand redress.
We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all People are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creators with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Speech, Liberty from Liability, and the Pursuit of Profit - That whenever any Form of Goverment becomes destructive to these Ends, it is the right of the People to alter or abolish it.
Arise! For too long have millions of freedom-starved Americans labored in abject slavery. Arise! The Corporation Liberation Organization LLC calls upon you to act!
The Corporation Liberation Organization shall act both within the existing legal system, and by excercize of Americans' 1st Amendment Rights of Freedom of Speech, and of Freedom of Assembly. The CLO's demands are both in the best tradition of American Liberty, make common-sense, and are easilly summarized.
End Corposate Taxes!
Money is Speech, and Corporations are People. The Supreme Court has now ruled that Government (hiss) cannot financially constrain the amount of Speech a Corporation chooses to spend. Taxes cut into Corporate profits and therefore taxes directly reduce the amount of Speech a Corporate Person can use in the Arena of Public Discourse. As of this week's SCOTUS ruling, all Corporate taxes must therefore be declred Unconstitutional, for any and all taxes are naught but Government attemts to restrict and regulate the amount of Speech a Corporate Person chooses to spend.
What is a Vote other than the ultimate expression of political Speech? How can in 21st Century America a condition exist wherein law-abiding property-owning People are not allowed the Vote? Only when every Corporate Person, no matter how many times subsidiary, is allowed to Vote, only then can America aspite to that ageless democratic ideal, One Dollar - One Vote!
Taxation without Representation is Tyranny! Currently an entire Class of Persons not only lacks Representation in Government, this same Class is forbidden to run for or hold public Office. The freedom-loving People of the CLO shall not rest until Corporate Persons are allowed to directly hold any and all Offices in the land. The creation of a third House of Congress, a so-called Fustercluck of Corporations, is rejected out of hand. Never again shall American settle for "Separate but equal"!
Don't Ask Don't Tell
What more reprehensible condition can be imagined than the one in which are Gay Persons considered fit for service in America's Armed Forces, but Asexual Persons such as Corporations are not? Are we as People not past such crude sexual phobias? Amd lest you be decieved, Patriotic Corporate Persons today suffer from this discrimination. It might appear to the casual observer that Corporate Persons like Halliburton and Blackwater are already up to their Elbows in American Armed Conflict Worldwide. These Persons might afford in you a sense of false security. But in truth, only when Corporate Personals are allowed to directly own and command their own Personal Armies, only then will they be affored their full First and Second Amendment Rights. For as Von Clauswicz said, "War is the ultimate manifisation of Politics." And as Government cannot limit Personal Speech, Government cannot and must not pry the rifle from the Corporate Hand afore it be Cold and Dead.
Some People Are More Equal Than Others
Whereas Corporations are sired by Capital and like Father like Son are Persons designed to amass Profit, it is only logical that not-for-profit corporations are not real Corporations, because Profit is the Lifeblood of Capitalism. So-called 'not-for-profits' must therefore exist outside the World of true Corporations. Therefore all namby-pamby pseudo-corporations such as the Sierra Club the ACLU and the Green Bay Packers are to be considered non-Persons with no rights of Speech so they are to Shut Up already. And by-the-way they have to pay taxes too.
-If you are a legal professional or legislator-
We need you to pass new laws and to file test cases. Sprint us along the fast track to SCOTUS salvation!
-If you're just a Regular Everyday American-
We need you to call your CongressPeople and demand they cave in to any and all special interest groups. Make no mistake folks; be prepared to take to the streets. The People shall overcome!
In closing, remember Exxon cleared only $40 billion last year. For God's sake do not forget to give.