Is Glenn Beck illegally married? That may seem like a strange question, and I believe he is legally married, but I can't help but wonder why we've never seen PROOF that he's legally married!
Is Glenn Beck married to a man? We've certainly never seen his wife's vagina, have we? And if Glenn Beck were gay married then that would be illegal, and he shouldn't be allowed to continue to stay married. I think his wife should produce her vagina, and I mean her real vagina, not an vagina with obvious signs of surgical alteration like folds and layers!
While I think that Glenn Beck's wife is a woman, I can't help but wonder at some of the coincidences surrounding Glenn Beck, if that is his real name. For instance, his last name: B E C K.
B is awfully close to C, only tied with D, in the alphabet, and we all know that CONSPIRACY starts with the letter C, but B distances itself from it JUST ENOUGH to maintain plausible deniability in case Obama's secret Socialist Politically Correct Army should come fascisising through it's curiously locked door. Why is the door locked, B? Something to hide?
E obviously stands for emolument. Why I don't know, but that's just another layer to the mystery, the OUT AND OUT CONSPIRACY that is Glenn Beck's possibly illegal marriage.
C is for conspiracy. But, you say, why would he leave such an obvious clue? To throw us off, to make us think that he has nothing to hide. But how many fine Americans do you know that have a C in their LAST NAME? Obama smartly hides his cover-up by only having the guilty-by-association B in his last name!
K is the most mysterious of all. Is it for Knuckling Down on all those who aren't secretly gay married? Is it a wink and a nod to the Trilateral Commission? Think about it: the letter K, with its THREE ANGLES clearly representing the Trilateral Commission? Or perhaps it's the Illuminati? Their love of symmetry is perfectly represented by the letter K for, when you turn it upside down, IT STILL LOOKS LIKE A LETTER K!
So what could Glenn Beck do about this problem? All his wife would have to do is produce her real vagina to clear up these questions. I have no reason to believe, at this point, that her vagina was actually added to her in Kenya, or, for that matter, that Glenn Beck's penis was added to him there either. But isn't it curious that this very document you're reading even MENTIONS the possibility that the Becks were surgically altered in Kenya? Why would that be?
I'm just an ordinary, hard-working, tax-paying American who is only asking questions. These questions are easily answered but there is curious silence from the Becks on the subject.
Hey, Glenn Beck: see how dumb this sounds?