Comes a time when you just have to walk away.
Comes a time when you just have to walk away from a bad job.
Comes a time when you just have to walk away from an abusive spouse or partner.
Comes a time when you just have to walk away from a failed investment.
Comes a time when you just have to walk away from a worn out automobile.
Comes a time when you just have to walk away from your country.
Whoa, whoa there mule. Are you serious (you may be asking of me)?
Yes, I am afraid I am. Dead serious.
I have already made up my mind to leave my hometown in search of employment upon the high seas with a cruise ship line as soon as I graduate junior college this May. So I will be walking away from a town, and its people, that I love and have loved ever since I moved here in 1960. Not that I haven't left before; but I've always returned. This time I foresee no return, at least not until I retire or die. I do intend to be buried here as I already have cemetary plot space. But to return to live here? No, most likely not.
But what about walking away from my country? Do I mean by that that I intend to relinquish or renounce my American citizenship? Well, that's the thought that I just can't get out of my mind. I have become so sick of the bigotry, the hatred, the social injustice that is paralyzing this country and seemingly overwhelming it that I feel I need to walk away from it lest it kill me. Very frankly, right now I would like to shed my identity as an American and seek citizenship in some other country (and there are many that come to mind) that practices a fuller recognition of essential humanity in terms of social justice and democracy.
Naturally, I can not predict the future, so I do not know if I can even get a job with a cruise ship line, nor can I unequivocally say I will seek citizenship in another country, but I can't help feeling that, for my own peace of mind at least, this is something I probably need to do.
I anticipate that many may say I am abandoning hope, that I'm precipitately despairing, that I'm exhibiting disloyalty in the face of temporary adversity. You may be right. Maybe all I need, in the words of Rachael Maddow (who I admire to no end), is for someone to "talk me down".
I don't know for certain. But I do know that the way this country seems to be heading right now is something that I could not tolerate if it comes to fruition. I do hope that something occurs that will head it off, but given things like the recent SCOTUS decision (Citizens United) granting corporations the right to funnel billions of dollars to partisan politics and candidates, I grant that I despair for this republic.
I'm fifty-five years old. I hope that I've still got a couple of decades of life ahead of me. Furthermore, I hope I'm wrong about where I believe this country is headed. I want to be wrong.
I don't want to walk away from my country. But I will if I feel there is no other way.
My apologies if this diary upsets anyone. Your comments, supportive or otherwise, will receive my thoughtful consideration.