American Pie covered the barebones of Brendan Burke's tragically short, yet amazing and trailblazing, life and his death a few days ago.
Unfortunately, for whatever reason, I don't think the story received the publicity it deserved.
So I'm going to flesh it out a bit, as I have been following it for awhile now.
Like most people, the first I had ever heard about Brendan Burke was in a piece on ESPN.com by John Buccigross about Burke's experiences as a gay man trying to find himself and trying to fit in in an area, sports, where homophobia generally remains strong.
And as much strength as it must have taken him to come out to his family, friends, and professional colleagues, he went above and beyond, becoming somewhat of a national figure for gays in sports. His father, Brian, a very well known General Manager of an NHL franchise, was worried, yet as supportive as a father should be:
"I had a million good reasons to love and admire Brendan. This news didn't alter any of them.
I would prefer Brendan hadn't decided to discuss this issue in this very public manner. There will be a great deal of reaction, and I fear a large portion will be negative. But this takes guts, and I admire Brendan greatly, and happily march arm in arm with him on this.
There are gay men in professional hockey. We would be fools to think otherwise. And it's sad that they feel the need to conceal this. I understand why they do so, however.
Can a gay man advance in professional hockey? He can if he works for the Toronto Maple Leafs! Or for Miami University Hockey. God bless Rico Blasi! And I am certain these two organizations are not alone here.
I wish this burden would fall on someone else's shoulders, not Brendan's. Pioneers are often misunderstood and mistrusted. But since he wishes to blaze this trail, I stand beside him with an axe! I simply could not be more proud of Brendan than I am, and I love him as much as I admire him."
There are no openly gay NHL players. There are no openly gay individuals in management positions of NHL teams. Brendan probably could have been the first. He was the student manager and video assistant for the #1 ranked Miami University mens hockey team, a 4.0 student ready to apply to law school, which would give him a leg up in finding one of those jobs in the NHL.
At Miami, he'd been a valuable part of The Brotherhood, a code by which everyone associated with the team lives. Here's how former Miami captain, and now a forward with the NHL's Nashville Predators, Ryan Jones, describes The Brotherhood:
You kind of get spoiled when you go down there and are part of the Brotherhood because the team is so tight-knitted. It’s literally like having 26 brothers. You care that much about each one of your teammates. It makes going to rink every day enjoyable, and when it becomes enjoyable, you have a better chance of success just because you want to win and you want to work hard for the guy beside you. The Brotherhood takes on every aspect of life with school and the things that we do in the community. So I think that’s what makes Miami the heart and soul kind of program that it is.
When you understand how close the team is to one-another, you realize that this was the perfect environment for Burke to thrive. As he put it:
The general response is "OK, Burkie's gay. Who cares? Pass the beer nuts."
Miami's hockey coach, Enrico Blasi, talked about how Brendan's coming out was a learning experience for everyone:
I think having Brendan as part of our program has been a blessing. We are much more aware of what you say and how we say it. I am guilty as anyone. We need to be reminded that respect is not a label, but something you earn by the way you live your life.
Brendan Burke died last Friday in a car accident, driving through a heavy snowstorm back to campus. He had been in Lansing, Michigan, visiting Michigan State and looking at their law school, and was trying to get back for Miami's home game against Lake Superior State:
The top-ranked Miami University hockey team won another game Friday night, Feb. 5, but afterward that fact seemed unimportant to a grieving program.
The RedHawks had learned that Miami senior Brendan Burke, 21, a student manager for the team and the son of Toronto Maple Leafs president and general manager Brian Burke, had died from injuries suffered in an auto accident in Indiana earlier Friday.
Miami spokesman Mike Pearson said he was unable to comment on the situation, only that the team had received bad news about a death, but the level of grief on the bottom level of Steve Cady Arena was apparent. There were tears and drawn, shocked faces along the back hallways.
A brother was gone, but not forgotten.
Brendan Burke's funeral was yesterday. The Miami hockey team chartered a flight so they could be there. They wore their team sweaters, which now have a patch with the initials "BB" that will remain for the rest of the season.
Enrico Blasi had the honor of serving as a pall bearer.
Brendan Burke will not be forgotten. His story and the way he affected the people around him will reverberate in the world of sports for years to come, and until true equality is achieved. Gay men can and will be accepted in sports, be it professional, collegiate, or scholastic.
I leave you with the eulogy given by Brendan's brother, Patrick:
Brendan lived in a world without walls, without limits, without boundaries.
From birth, he had an unshakeable faith that genuine good resides in all people.
Along with that faith, was hope. Hope that he could bring that good out from inside people and into the world by being open, caring and kind to everyone he met. Looking around this room, it is clear that he is right.
Brendan only had 21 years but in that time the sheer power of his love transcended everything. He was the hope of the next generation for the old. The beloved friend and role model to his peers and a hero to the young...
He spoke to the hearts of the audiences of millions and to the courage of the high school boy who eats alone at lunch everyday.
He was strong and unyielding in his convictions but soft, sweet and gentle in their application.
He was the best of the Burkes and the best of the Gilmores.
He taught the teachers and he learned from the students.
He was the face of a movement and will always be the soul of the family.
To many of us, Brendan's world was a dream world. Brendan had the courage to transcend cynicism and fear and live for 21 years in that glorious dream.
His vision of the world was a spark that lit a fire of hope in so many people. That fire has not been extinguished by his death. His memory will fan a flame of courage in all of us. Inspiring all of us to be a little kinder, a little stronger, a little better. A little more like Brendan.
Through all of us, his hope still lives and his dream will never die.
RIP Brendan