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Experts View Headline as Desperate Plea for Free Publicity

Gambling that a mountain of circumstantial evidence correctly leads to the conclusion that Sarah Palin’s name has never appeared in a headline that she didn’t like, and that the former Alaska Governor will publicly respond to any controversial or politically incorrect comment which allows her to portray either herself or her family as the victim(s), a chronically underemployed liberal New York blogger today stated publicly his opinion that "the woman is a retard".

Responding to an article on Salon.com titled "Did ‘Family Guy’s’ Palin joke go too far?" the starving wannabe facing eviction wrote the following:

   

How about some consistency?

   Anyone watching ‘Family Guy’ should know to be prepared for offensive material — they even include some in their commercials.

   But I guess in Sarah’s Bubble, animated shows are ‘comedy’ while flesh and blood clowns like Limbaugh are ’satirists’.

   As someone who immodestly considers himself the latter, and has also gone through life legally blind, I fully understand that every individual has a single line drawn where it best reflects their own values (and sensitivities).

   Only hypocrites draw multiple lines and adjust their ’sensibilities’ according to their audience.

   Sarah Palin’s child has, through no fault of his own, been dealt a bad hand and should never be the source of ridicule as a result

   His mother, on the other hand, blows with the political wind in the room even on a subject so delicate and personal as her own child’s disability.

   The woman is a retard...

   >—The Desperate Blogger

When reached for comment by one of the other voices in his head, The Desperate Blogger unapologetically offered the following (rambling) statement:

 

"First; I want to be clear that I believe the show ‘Family Guy’ often employs humor that is in poor taste and will offend many – that is why it has so many more viewers than it has people who acknowledge watching it...

   Second; I myself am offended by any mocking of Governor Palin’s son Trig.  Not only is he only 22 months old with Down Syndrome, but on top of that he must deal with the added pressure of mentoring a possible future President on matters pertaining to foreign relations...

   Third; Barring the release of a medical diagnosis or I.Q. test results proving otherwise, Governor Palin has no mental ‘challenges’ or ‘disabilities’ that would justify her making statements indicating either that she does or she believes her audience must.  So in her case, the word ‘retard’ constitutes more of an innocent colloquialism referring to ignorance than it does a mean-spirited, demeaning characterization...

   Fourth; I realize that there is very strong evidence that Governor Palin is not a retard.  Fox News doesn’t hire retards.  They hire people like Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity.  I fully acknowledge the possibility that Sarah Palin may, in fact, be as they are – a ‘Pied Piper’ of retards...

   Finally, I realize the chances are very slim that Governor Palin will ever become aware of my comments.  Even if she does, will she respond?  Unlike the animated TV series she is currently sharing the headlines with, my blog is not (yet) a profit-center for the conglomerate that both pays her and gives her a forum.  My only hope for getting any publicity out of this is that when it comes to making headlines, she is unable to distinguish between the benefits of ‘quality’ versus ‘quantity’ – in other words, that the woman is a retard..."

Will the controversy die here?

The ball is in ‘Sarah the retard’s’ court...

Originally posted to real satire on Tue Feb 16, 2010 at 06:32 PM PST.

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