Skip to main content

I would first like to congratulate you for the lightning speed with which you are moving up the ladder there at Fox.

I bet when you were a lowly intern slapping "(D)" chyrons next to images of scandalized Republican pedo-pols and measuring out the precise dosage of Splenda for Steve Doocy's morning latte that you never imagined you could make it this far.


Now that you have a fancy title and are making nearly 60% of what constitutes a living wage in New York City by trolling around on liberal blogs for "stories," it can't be long before those peons from the mailroom are addressing you as "sir," instead of "douchebag."

You can probably already smell Roger Ailes' eucalyptus-scented fistula medicine from your lofty perch.  Don't look now, Rog, but someone's gaining on ya!

Just a few words of advice you may wish to heed as you sculpt your bedazzling future at the Fair-n-Balanced network:

  1.  If Bill O'Reilly offers you some falafel, politely refuse.  He doesn't really mean falafel.  Trust me.
  1.  If you're lucky enough to be on set when Glenn Beck weeps, try to quickly scoop up some of his tears.  They have palliative properties bordering on the miraculous.  I have a vial full myself, which I use to make my garden yield massive squash.
  1.  If you are going to harvest Daily Kos for evidence that liberals are batshit, you can do much better than the diary you cherry-picked this morning.  HINT: run a search for "Errin F."

I hope this finds you well, and look forward to our next little chat.

Originally posted to The Termite on Fri Feb 19, 2010 at 01:17 PM PST.


Who has a worse job than this poor fuck?

3%3 votes
40%35 votes
26%23 votes
29%26 votes

| 87 votes | Vote | Results

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site