I composed this poem in honor of Tiger Woods' mistresses, who seem to have the self-pride and opportunism of a Jerry Springer Show guest.
Can we be done with Tiger's personal life and all the women who have shared it now, please? It really ain't nobody's business but their own.
The professional media should try pandering to our better angels for once. If they would ALL just stop giving attention to the unimportant, maybe, just maybe, it would raise the level of what is newsworthy in this country.
Ode to Media Whores
When it comes to our faults, folks sometimes exclaim,
"We all make mistakes, for life is a game.
You win some, you lose some, whatever your name,
For to err is human, and we're all made the same."
But missteps most salacious, like being caught with a dame
Draw attention so great that mistresses claim
A piece of the spotlight, regardless of blame
For in morality today, fame always trumps shame.