Political Polls...Some are informative and beneficial, others are empty, baseless and misleading. When comparing a Political Poll to a "Stripper Pole" which one will leave you feeling dirty and in need of a shower? Which one will leave you feeling screwed?
While watching the 2008 Presidential Debates last year, we made a startling discovery. Hold on to your hats, because this may shock your system. Did you know that 88% of the viewers on CNN actually agree with the reporters on CNN? Conversely, 89% of the Fox News viewers agree with the Fox News positions and a staggering 92% of viewers on MSNBC actually agree with their reporters and political spin. The research for this scientific discovery was intense and something that would normally carry the cautious disclaimer, "Don’t Try This at Home."
In practicing full disclosure, thePoliticop will reveal the scientific method used to make this earth shattering discovery. We watched three televisions, AT THE SAME TIME.
Immediately following the debates, Fox News posted their poll results, identifying McCain as a runaway winner over Obama, 89% - 11%. At the same time, CNN poll results identified Obama as a clear winner over McCain 88% - 12%. (Since we are not here to challenge your intelligence, we are not going to finish this statement; instead we will allow you to do the leg work on the results of the MSNBC poll).
In keeping with our Modus Operandi (that’s M.O. for you Hill Street Blues and Cop Rock fans) here is a totally made up, totally fictitious scenario from thePoliticop to better explain how this phenomenon works.
The Tale of Two Pollsters
Janet was recently hired by a polling firm. (Let’s randomly call it The Pew-Rassmuzogby Polling Company). Janet’s first client is Burger Sling. Her new client wants to determine the public’s reception of the new Natural Cut French Fry that they unveiled over the holiday weekend.
Meanwhile, Chrissy just landed a similar job at a rival polling firm. (Let’s randomly call this one The Gallopiac Polling Company). Chrissy’s first client is McRonald’s. Her client is concerned about the Natural Cut French Fry that Burger Sling is promoting.
Coincidentally, Burger Sling and McRonald’s are directly across the street from each other.
Janet walked into Burger Sling and interrupted ten restaurant patrons who were already eating a hamburger and Natural Cut French Fries combo. Janet placed her attaché case and a clear-plastic document holder that clearly contained coupons for a free Combo meal at Burger Sling, on the table. She then asked each customer the following (3) questions.
- If you had to choose between Burger Sling’s Natural Cut, moderately seasoned fries, which are made without preservatives, and from handpicked potatoes from an organic farm in the wonderful heartland of Idaho OR McRonald’s French fries derived from potato-like stuff and fried in the same oil they make their fish sandwich, which would you choose?
- How would you rate the new Burger Sling Natural Cut Fries, on a scale of 1-3? 1=Good... 2=Excellent... 3=The Best French Fry Ever.
- Before Burger Sling introduced their Natural Cut French Fries, would you have considered visiting McRonald’s and eating their french fries over Burger Sling’s fries?
The result of Janet’s polling determined the following;
• 90% of fast food patrons prefer Burger Sling Natural Cut French Fries over McRonald’s. (again in full disclosure, one of the combo-eating-customers told Janet to "get lost")
• The overwhelming majority of French Fry patrons rate the Burger Sling Natural Cut French Fries as either Excellent or The Best French Fry Ever tasted.
• More and more people have switched from McRonald’s to Burger Sling since the introduction of the Natural Cut French Fries.
Janet is now an account executive, overseeing the Burger Sling account.
Chrissy decided to take a different approach.
Chrissy drove her vehicle through the drive thru at Burger Sling and ordered 10 supersize Natural Cut French Fries (as an added bonus to the test, she ordered the Burger Sling Fries without salt). Chrissy drove across the street to McRonald’s and carried the Burger Sling French fries into the restaurant. She set up a table in the back of the room and partitioned the table to create a "blind taste test". Chrissy directed the employee at McRonald’s to send any person ordering French fries at the counter, towards the back of the room for a "blind taste test".
Each table consists of a tray to hold the fries, and a heat lamp. What the eye cannot detect is that the heat lamp over the Burger Sling tray is exponentially larger than the 25 watt comfort light over the McRonald’s tray. Chrissy stocked the McRonald’s tray with freshly made French fries prior to each blind taste test. Over the next half hour, twenty five people participated in the blind taste test. Of the twenty five, twenty three selected the freshly made, lightly salted McRonald’s French fries over the constantly warmed, limp in the middle – while hardening on the ends (because of the heat lamps) Burger Sling Natural Cut French Fries. When the contestant selected their favorite French fries, Chrissy pulled the poster board up, revealing the name of the winning spud.
In conclusion, Chrissy submitted to her client that in a blind taste test the McRonald’s French Fries beat out the Burger Sling Natural Cut French Fries 92% of the time.
That’s the fiction...Here’s some facts.
- The participants in both polls already made their choice, prior to Janet or Chrissy waltzing into their lives. (The restaurants are across the street from each other, the fact that the Burger Sling patrons were asked inside of Burger Sling, and the McRonald’s patrons were asked inside of McRonald’s means that they already chose one restaurant over the other.)
a. To put this in the real life scenario, the 80 – 90% of the viewers on Fox, CNN, MSNBC, Headline News, etc. have already selected their preference by watching that channel.
- In Janet’s scenario it was obvious to the patron that there was something to gain by choosing the Burger Sling product over the McRonald’s product, (referencing the clear plastic document holder with the visible Burger Sling coupons inside).
a. ... Believing the "spin" on most commentary programs incites loud, radical opposition. Loud, radical opposition makes the commentary seem more believable. Believable commentary allows the pundit to sway his/her viewers.
- Again, in Janet’s scenario the unknown is; how was the question asked? Rating the product from 1-3, with 1 being "Good" and 3 being "The Best Ever" is something that is not disclosed in the findings.
a. ... According to Frank Luntz, a Fox News Assssociate and self professed master pollster: One can make a poll say whatever the client wants the poll to say.
Note: Unfortunately, Mr. Luntz was victimized by....Frank Luntz, Freelance Pollster, who participated in an episode of Penn & Teller’s Bullsh*t, before he aligned himself with Fox News. Check out this clip. http://www.youtube.com/...
- In Chrissy’s scenario it was all about the tactics. Notice all the little games she played to sway the vote towards the McRonald’s fries.
a. ...this of course is tantamount to a conservative walking into CPAC in an A.C.O.R.N. costume with a lipsticked pig on a leash and polling Obama’s successes.
Take a step back and ask yourself; why are they showing me this poll? Then keep this question & answer in mind, as we head into the 2010 Mid Term Elections.
Are you a fan of a particular politician and intend to vote for this Senator or House Representative, because (s)he best represents your values and direction? If so, why would you care if today’s "daily tracking poll" shows your candidate slipping from a 56% lead to a 53% lead?
Are you undecided about your vote because you haven’t had the time to delve into the candidacy? When you turn on your television and learn that one of the two leading candidates is slightly ahead of the other by a slim margin of 2%; does this make you want to vote for the winning or losing candidate more?
Really?
Are you that gullible?
If so, then you should check out our poll results. (Displayed with full earmarked disclosures)
Percentage of Americans who support thePoliticop and intend to donate $ to the Blog: 82%
Percentage of Americans who support thePoliticop but are unable to offer financial support (because they have an alcohol/drug problem): 10%
Percentage of Americans who hate reading thePoliticop Blog (and do not object to marrying their cousin): 8%
Submit your vote below, and then email thePoliticop@aol.com for donation arrangements...
That’s all we really want, isn’t it?
Nothing More, Nothing Less.