The next proposal from the Texas board of education who have decided to strike the silly teachings of Thomas Jefferson have put forth a new set of punishments for school children who refuse to read their History books.
Children who refuse to follow the new History Textbooks will
be hung, burnt for witchcraft, killed, put in the stockades, or pinned while people threw rotten fruit at them. For lying they might burn a hole in their tongue. For stealing they might chop off the children's fingers.
- Benefit of clergy - the convicted made plead benefit of clergy, in which case, if they can read a passage from the Bible without one mistake, their sentence will be reduced.
- Stocks - the student in violation will have his head and hands placed in a locked stockade for the remainder of the day, and the other school children will be invited to pelt him with food. The convicted must clean up anything they are pelted with.
- Wearing a sign - a milder punishment than branding. The convicted must make their own sign to hang around their neck, which indicates their crime.
- Branding - the convicted is marked with letters that stand for their crime - L for Liberal, P for Progressive or A for adulterer. The branding can be on the cheek, forehead, or more mildly on the hand or finger.
- Ducking stool - for women only, usually used in the case of gossip. The woman shall be confined in a chair and dunked in water.
- Whipping - for males only, a common punishment. A number of "lashes" is administered to the convicted's back. Lashes usually number from 5 to 20.
- Public shaming - a milder form of punishment, the convicted is pulled on a rope through the town, while the community is invited to point fingers at him, tell him he is naughty, and pelt him with small objects.
There you have it folks, this is the direction that our Tea Party ultra right wing movement in this country wants to take us. Hell they might just take us back to the inquisitional forms of punishment if you don't agree with them...
LOL!! Hope the ending at least put a smile on your face
P.S. These were actual Puritan punishments from back in the day.