Hola, Señor Limbaugh!
As a hispanic, I am excited at the prospect of you getting to know the rest of the Latin America! Sure you have spent plenty of time in the Dominican Republic at your "specialized" resorts, but those have nothing on the culture and excitement you will find in Costa Rica. There is a reason it's known as the Rich Coast!
Having helped many fellow Americans expatriate to various Latin American countries, I am here to help you with your move. I know this is a bit scary, moving to a country that speaks a different native language, not to mention you are basically a political refugee fleeing the onslaught Obamacare, but this is gonne be the best not only for you, but the entire USA.
I am sure you were just sleepless last night as the bill passed and you realized you had to slip out on the next banana boat for Costa Rica least you be picked up for a re-education camp. Do not fear, you should have more than time to read the following before the long arms of Big Brother Obama grabs you in the middle of the night.
First off, you should know a little about the country you are moving, too!
Now, I know you are fearing the totalitarian regime that is Obama, you will be glad to know Costa Rica was the first country in the world to constitutionally abolish its army. That's right, Costa Rica is a constitutional republic, just like you use to love in America before the fascist Democratic Party took total control in an open election.
Known as the "Switzerland of the Americas", Costa Rica has largely been spared the violence brought on by USA's rather quint Monroe Doctrine, unlike Panama to the south or Nicaragua to the north. Costa Rica is so democratic, they actually have two vice-presidents!
Now I know what you are thinking, sounds good, but where does an American just go, right? I mean, sure they all look and sound alike, how can the average fleeing far-right wing radio host easily find a new home in Costa Rica?
Again, I am here to help!
Now, I highly suggest four possibilities:
Guanacaste, which has the "specialized" tourism you seem to enjoy and fresh produce from agriculture right near by!
Limón, which is right on the Caribbean Coast and has some of the most stunning eco-tourim resorts on the planet, a perfect way to spend your august years.
San Jóse, because let's face it, you'll still have that political bug up your rather large and healthy ass, and this is the capital for both economics and politics.
A small island of your own, because when you are being basically expelled from your native country due to the emergence of a new political regime, what better way to do so than in the Napoleonic manner of being exiled to a small island of your own choosing?
Then you won't even have to visit one of Costa Rica's shadier resorts for your "special" needs. You could just have your own pleasure island.
Imagine you, in a seersucker suit, the Caribbean breeze dancing threw your nose hairs, and as far as the eye can see, your "special" "helpers" are doing their thing on Isle Rush.
Shirtless, of course, but knowing you, you wily one, pants will also be an option, but go ahead!
It would be your island after all!
Since we all know that America will be so sad when you leave, why not fiddle the world's largest Violin for them on Isla Violin!
http://www.kaboodle.com/...
625 acres US $4,000,000
Violin Island is located in Drake Bay in Southern Costa Rica. The island's terrain consists of flat lands, mountains and beaches. The mountain regions are covered in many different kinds of tropical trees. A large variety of animals inhabit this island including the Lappa Papagayo. Whales and dolphins can be viewed swimming in the ocean nearby the island. History of the island Isla Violin was a former hideout for pirates from the early 1600s. On the island, they found enough resources like water and food and the perfect place to hide their booty.
Four million dollars is a small price to pay for living free from the fascist regime of President Obama?
I think not. Plus, I know you love booty, especial of a pirate kind, so I know this will be right up your alley!
Now we got you sorted with an island, a basic history and geographical layout, we need to parachute you there.
First, you will need two movers, one in the USA one in Costa Rica. I'd port out of Miami, and have your worldly possessions arrive in Puerto Limón. Or since you are rich, just call Sterling International or IMS Inc. You can thank me later for that advise!
Also, get an international driver's license, because you won't be living on your own pleasure island all the time, and lord knows a man like you is on the move a lot!
Which bring us to insurance.
Car insurance is actually compulsory for third party liability when you purchase your license plates. Though, a smart man would also buy supplementary insurance. Don't worry, this insurance is private and not some government controlled program you just ran away from!
Now, funny enough, healthcare is universal for all Costa Rican citizens. I highly doubt you plan on denouncing your USA citizenship just to get quality healthcare you just fled from, and lucky for you, Costa Rica just passed a perpetual tourist bill that will allow you stay forever without renewing your visa!
So you can say tucked on your island in exile as long as your heart sees fit!
So since you can't have the universal healthcare enjoyed by native Costa Ricans, your best bet is INS Medical International. This just has one major flaw, though, big buddy.
Main Exclusions:
Obesity, addictions, and erectile disfunction
Kind of a rough trifecta for your current lifestyle I understand. But when one takes such a principled stand to leave one's country over healthcare that no longer allows for pre-existing conditions, one should embrace their new expensive insurance that won't cover your basic medical needs.
I am sure you can work something out though, Latin America has a great generic version of Viagra and OxyContin for you to buy. I believe you are familiar with both of them from your trips to the Dominican Republic.
And who knows, maybe the diet and lifestyle of Costa Rica will help you shed those extra pounds!
So Rush, this should more than help you, or any American, expatriate to Costa Rica!
Remember, there are planes leaving daily!
I bet you can go catch one right now, so what's stopping you?
Rush, Rush! Rush to Costa Rica! Your new life is waiting for you and I bet most of America will even help you pack your bags!
Buenas suerte, amigo, y adios!