Because nobody ever reads up here: You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
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Take Me Out to the Ballgame. But Cheap.
Starting Sunday, that great old—and oh, is it old—American tradition starts up again, for real. Baseball. Yes, baseball; the only sport in which you can watch the first game, check out for three whole months before you watch another, then two more before the real games in the playoffs get underway.
(No, the NBA doesn’t count. You only have to watch the last quarter of any playoff game there, and their playoffs go on for an entire quarter of a year. Plus, MTmofo doesn’t give a damn about it, anyway.)
With that in mind, I figured I’d look at some interesting deals at our two local major league ballparks. Yes, You Can Take Your Ass to a Baseball Game on the cheap. I’ve done it. I'll do it again.
Oriole Park @ Camden Yards: Driving and parking aren’t a big deal to me; I can go to a parking lot anywhere near MTA Light Rail and just take that right up to the door. BWI Airport never fails.
Then there are nine seating sections available for purchase, all under $33 for PRIME games (not including taxes and fees), and up to $20 for games with teams nobody gives a crap about. Like the Texas Rangers. Up here, that is.
But the most interesting deal they have: the Left Field All-You-Can-Eat Picnic Perch.
Orioles.com says:
For one low, all-inclusive price, you get a Club Level ticket -- with full access to the exclusive Oriole Park Club Level -- plus unlimited:
• Hot Dogs
• Peanuts
• Popcorn
• Nachos
• Garden Salads
• Ice Cream
• Soda and Lemonade
Considering that concessions can run you (okay, me) up to $15 a game, an all-inclusive selection of choices of typical ballpark food at $40/$55 is a steal. Still, because I don’t think I’m eating all those Esskay Oriole Beef Franks, I’d go with any ticket in the $33-and-below range, and using the $15 deduction, it’ll cost me just about $50 to go see the Orioles. Suck.
Note of caution: do not expect to see the Boston Red Sox at this stadium. When the Red Sox play in Baltimore, most of Suburban New England travels here to watch them play at what becomes Fenway Park South @ Camden Yards. You will not get a hotel, or dinner reservations at Phillips, so be forewarned. Unless you're one of them. In that case, welcome, and please tip your servicepeople generously.
Nationals Park: I have made it an utmost priority to get to a ballgame at this stadium, this year. Because the Nationals also suck, that priority is easy to meet, so long as Boston and New York aren’t in town. It’s a straight shot on Metrorail’s Green Line, and as long as I’m out of there by 5:30pm on Day games, I have at least three options home, including MARC Commuter Rail from Union Station. If I have to go at night…well…someone will have to pick me up.
The Nats also have nine sections, and because they suck, they don’t rob you too much for Prime games—about a $2-$3 dollar difference on the ticket price for those sections, and no more than $5 in most of the others, save for the Lexus President’s Seats (behind home plate), which are $10.
I really like their Center Field Lounge price—at $56-$59 for a single game (and for value games, $54) you get a seat, and $20 in additional value to buy food, drink, and merchandise. That’s $36 for the ticket, and $20 to buy crap with. Good deal!
Knowing my cheap ass, though…I’ll settle for the $24 Infield Gallery seats. Or not. Still, figure about $40 to go see the Nationals. Suck. Again. Unless I decide to spring for those lounge seats. Then it’s $65. And it's located close enough to both the Democratic and Republican National Committees' headquarters, you can see them buying booze and partying down; or, in the case of Tim Kaine, taking a[nother] nap.
Yeah, I could cheat and use StubHub. But that’s a last resort measure. And because these teams suck so much, it’s not necessary. Seats can be had, if you want them. You wanna know what StubHub is good for? Redskins tickets...for Cowboys fans.
Let’s play ball. Or, in lieu of balls…let’s play some CraigyFerg highlights.
Scheduled tonight: Wanda Sykes. She’s funny. And on the network. And Anna Torv, who plays Olivia Dunham from Fox’s “Fringe”. Apparently, she haz pictures.
[Okay, before we start...I am not liking YouTube's new overhaul thus far. But I will get used to it, as tech wonks do with new interfaces.]
Open:
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You know what? We're good. Let's roll with this.