I make an effort, daily, to do good, no matter how small. Hold a door open, help a senior, I've even loaned money that I can't afford to friends who are in worse shape, even though I know I'll never get it back. Trivial, minor things that only serve to make me feel good about myself. I do believe that the more good I do, the more good will happen to me.
I'm agnostic, so my belief in karma is not based on/in Hinduism or Buddhism, but on my anxiety that I'm not a religious person. I have faith that there's something out there, bigger and better than me. If I am good and do good things, then only good can come my way.
Maybe not today, maybe not this year, I'm patient. I don't expect anything from anyone, man or God. I haven't found faith in anything and that is a profound sadness in my life. No religion, or lack of religion, is satisfying. Doing good things and getting results, a smile, a thank you, even that head nod, has always been fulfilling, a good feeling.
My recent writings have decreased my karma. I've done a disservice to those of you that read what I write. I haven't made an honest effort to write anything really worth reading. I have my own reasons for that, but I make no excuses. In the comments of my last entry I got charged with an "FAQ" foul, and agree or disagree, I hold myself to a better standard than that.
I'd rather post nothing than some of what I put out there lately, but it's there. At the time, I thought what I wrote was harmless, funny, or mildly interesting. I expect more from myself, I want people to laugh out loud, or think about something that they might not normally think about. I'd like to be more on the good side, and less on the deranged. I should think more before I type, and hope that from now on, I won't post filth.