Blackadder: Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words "I have a cunning plan" marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?
Baldrick: They certainly are, sir!
Blackadder: Well, forgive me if I don't do a cartwheel of joy. Your record in this department is hardly 100%. So what is it?
Baldrick: We do nothing.
Blackadder: Yup. It's another world-beater!
Baldrick: No, wait. We do nothing... until our heads have actually been cut off.
Blackadder: And then we... spring into action?
Baldrick: Exactly! You know how when you cut a chicken's head off, it runs round and round the farmyard and then out the gate?
Blackadder: [haltingly] Yyyyyyyeah...?
Baldrick: Well, we wait until our heads have been cut off, then we run round and round, out the gate, and escape! What do you think?
Blackadder: My opinions are rather difficult to express in words, Baldrick. So perhaps I can put it this way... [tweaks Baldrick's nose]
A Modest Proposal in 3 Parts.
- Securing the sixtieth Senate Vote
The First Supreme Court Nominee Must Be Joe Lieberman and none other.
Besides his sterling and unchallenged qualifications as a genuine Bipartisan, Mr. Lieberman possesses the gravitas, political smartsand - most of all sheer Joementum to get the job done.
Still not convinced?
Well, if nominated, to avoid conflict and give the candidacy all due respect and consideration (say five minutes), decorum and decency would dictate that Lieberman would have to resign his Senate seat.
...but of course, this is where this part of my cunning plan runs into a bit of trouble, as the Governor of Connecticut is - at present - a Republican, and would probably name a Republican to fill the seat, thus giving us the status quo ante... Let me tweak this one for a while... I'll get back to you.
Secondly) Doing Right by Cheney
Dick Cheney should be named immediately as Ambassador Plenipotentiary to Spain.
Imagine Dick "Dick" Cheney, getting to spend his golden years slathered in a layer of sunblock lard and beached up above the high tide mark at Torremolinos. Or, being the great "sportsman", that he is, taking in a bullfight or two at San Fermin... And, given his well known penchant for running from, or deferring from personal danger, he'd be a natural representative to run with the bulls in Pamplona!
We name him, get him on the plane, and we send him off to a well deserved break in Spain. He can even take his budlets with him!
Oh, and... Spain has a law on War Crimes which claims universal jurisdiction!
Just one little flaw - As Ambassador, Dick would have Diplomatic Immunity... hence the chances of Dick doing a Perp Walk in Seville are kinda iffy. But hey - its not like he's gonna ever get charged in the States either!
Finally
C) A New Un American Activities Committee
Michele Bachmann,Jean Schmidt,Orly Taitz,Glenn Beck,Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Brian Killmeade, Bill O'Reilly, Victoria Jackson, Breitbart's corps of crackerjack investigators, Rush Limbaugh, (feel free add your own), need to be made more useful.
There is a vast and ready territory that is overdue for investigation for un-American attitudes and facts.
It will take years of effort, mounds of money, and endless patience, but the objective is well in sight... You can plainly see where I'm headed by clicking here...
Granted, the exposure of expedition members to cosmic rays might result in mutagenic chaos...
But, given the level of source material, could that be seen to be a loss?
IV A Free Trade? You betcha!
One alleged fraudulent, husband controlled, corrupt, drug involved, self-entitled, intellectually sub par, social climbing, whining quitter for
another.
Not much of a gain on either side - call it a push. Better than a kick in the goolies, but barely.
What say you all?