It was 1994 and I was a young, wet behind the ears freshman at a small Western Kentucky University. The events of this day when my life was changed forever will remain with me unless the life that I had before seems to come back in some strange, Twilight Zoneish manner which is utterly impossible except on the tv show, The Twilight Zone.
A road trip is a normal occurrence in college. It is a rite of passage and a rite of young adulthood. The mystery of traveling in a car full of people you haven't known for too long but feel a kindred spirit with and the soundtrack of the cassette player pumping the latest mix tape are the stuff of lifelong memories.
Little did I know that one act in that car would change me forever, steer me in the direction my life is in currently and inform my opinion of the world that remains with me to this day.
The road trip was currently on the return trip of another first. It was my first visit to a "gay" bar. It was really a dance club that the older college kids whom I had befriended had been to many times before. Some of them were straight, some were gay but all were accepted when it came time to dance. I believe at the time it may have been easier to be served under age there as well.
This being my first time, I felt like an observer, rather than a participant. I felt as if "it", life, was going on all around me and I observed wide eyed, taking it all in. There was the obligatory boom sis boom sis boom sis of the pulsing dance music, the quick looks, then looks away at the other patrons and the sweet feeling of new independence that only a college freshman newly away from parents and in charge of the course of their lives for the first time can feel.
The night was fun and long and thinking back on it now, only college age kids would have the energy and stamina and stupidity to attempt a two hour drive back home at 2 in the morning. But hey, that was us all over.
As I stated before, the mix tapes were blasting, the windows were semi rolled down, allowing the chilly rushing air to keep the car abuzz with the important conversations of youth.
Somewhere during the first hour of the drive is when "the incident" occurred.
The person whom I was crammed next to in the car reached over and performed the deed that I mentioned changed me forever.
She passed me a big, fat, stinky, sticky freshly lit monster of a joint.
Aha. New experiences. Hanging with the cool kids. Participating in drug usage. Woo-hoo....I was down.
We puffed and passed and puffed and passed till that and one other had been consumed by the six of us, driver included.
And that act and my participation in it changed my life forever.
Not immediately mind you, no, immediately, I was just happy and light headed and spinning and EVERYTHING everyone said was VERY IMPORTANT and EVERY SONG that came on was the BEST SONG EVER. And as I limped, giggling to my dorm room after having been dropped off I was also feeling like I had accomplished something....my first time high. I liked it, yeah.
When I first met you, didn't realize
I can't forget you or your surprise
You introduced me to my mind
And left me wanting, you and your kind
Of course, over the years, I've become a connoisseur. I believe that it is a beautiful thing and makes alcohol or any other drug look like poison.
It wasn't a gateway. It didn't lead me to heroin or hard drugs - in fact, it made alcohol a non issue in my life.
I'm not preachy about it but I believe if you have never tried it, you really should.
It relaxes me, it allows my mind a kind of calm that invites it to explore and take in much more than a sober distracted mind could.
Does it make everything better...no, but it makes everything seem better and sometimes that is enough. I know there is music and art and conversation and food and sex that is great on it's own...but seriously...BETTER.
My life was empty, forever on a down
Until you took me, showed me around
My life is free now, my life is clear
I love you sweet leaf, though you can't hear
One day, we'll have legalized this harmless flower once and for all and the world won't end, that's for sure. For many it will just begin.
Just as prohibition ended, civil rights laws passed, we'll also get over our "teh gay" fear and maybe it will calm people the fuck down.
Straight people don't know, what you're about
They put you down and shut you out
You gave to me a new belief
And soon the world will love you sweet leaf
Happy 4-20 Everybuddy!!