DKos operatives have just learned that Republicans in the Nevada legislature, troubled by the campaign financing woes of John Ensign and the gaffes of Sue Lowden, plan to introduce a bill which would return Nevada to the so-called "poultry standard." Details of this shocking announcement are below.
The following facts are rumoured to be in the bill:
- All chickens must now be both juicy and legal tender.
- Eggs will be used in lieu of coins. A double-yolk egg will be a collector's item, like the buffalo nickel, a triple-yolk egg will be equivalent to a Sacagawea dollar, and a quadruple-yolk egg will be worth as much as the 1933 Double Eagle.
- Defeathering of chickens will be tantamount to defacing a bill, and therefore cannot be accepted by merchants.
- A person bearing a chicken must be in possession of at least 51 percent of the wishbone in order to exchange the chicken for full value.
- Chickens can be deposited at banks and will be insured against loss by the Nevada United Game and Gaming Establishment for Trade (NUGGET).
- Withdrawals will only be permitted in the form of eggs.
- People withdrawing from their savings accounts are strongly encourage not to count their chickens before leaving the bank.
I could go on--but it's more fun if you all throw in your own!