The driver of the 2017 BMW sedan was hit with twin blasts of Arizona heat as he rolled down the electric window.
Some of the heat came from the blazing sun on a roadway outside Flagstaff. The rest of the heat was personified by an Arizona State Trooper who had just pulled him over.
“What seems to be the problem Officer,” the driver asked.
“Sir, I need to see that thing back there on the back package shelf,” the Trooper responded. Sensing the conversation was about him, the object in question – a Chihuahua named Poncho turned his head, bared his teeth and growled at the law man.
“Sir, I am stopping you today because I need to see the papers on that dog back there.” Poncho snapped at the Trooper when the Trooper gestured toward him.
“But officer, Poncho doesn’t have any papers,” the driver stammered. “I just got him from a rescue shelter.”
“I am sorry Sir,” the Trooper said. “Under Arizona’s Domestic Dog Protection Act we’ll have to confiscate him and send him back over the border.”
“For a Mexican dog?” the driver said. “I understand how Mexican people might take jobs that would otherwise go to native-born Americans, but what possible harm could a Mexican dog possibly do?”
“Well, Sir it seems that a lot of those little Mexican dogs are really yappy,” the Trooper said. “A lot of the larger Anglo dogs were starting to get stressed by all the noise.”
“What do you mean Anglo dogs?” the driver demanded. “What kinds of dogs do Anglo’s own?”
“Oh, you know what I mean,” the officer said. “Those dogs that aren’t strange and foreign like him,” he said gesturing at Poncho. “You know the dogs I mean – the French Poodles, the Irish Setters, the English Bulldogs, the German Shepherds – all those good breeds that are real American canines.”
“Look,” the driver said. “I know that Arizona’s law against illegal aliens was so harsh that not even a Conservative Supreme Court could stomach it. So why are you worried about dogs that may be illegal?”
The Trooper shrugged. “It’s simple. Dogs don’t vote.”