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As Kos has pointed out on the Front Page, Duncan Hunter still doesn't think children of illegal immigrants should be American citizens.  Apparently, the parents of these children lost part of their future child's soul, the part that embodies American citizenship, when they entered the country.

Maybe the souls get snagged on the border fence barbed-wire?

But I'm nervous, it the America born children of undocumented aliens are not citizens, what of the grandchildren?

Sadly, I think I'm screwed!

My father was born in 1915, in Massachusetts, the son of Irish immigrants.
Grampa Halpin died of the flu in 1917, without ever having filed a petition for citizenship.

Gramma Halpin, as a woman, was not allowed to file for citizenship on her own at the time, she could only earn citizenship through her husband at the time.  I guess back in the early 1900's, womens souls also lacked the essence of citizenship! (I bet Duncan Hunter would love to go back to THAT system!)

Gramma eventually became a citizen, in 1940, at age 72.  Fearing, in the run up to World War II, they would start sending people back to the old country! But those 7 US-born children?  Hey, their souls were already screwed!

It's really sad to think now that Dad wasted 4 years in the US Navy during WW II. Didn't his soul know he wasn't really a citizen?

So, Dad's soul was defective.  He did not have the American citizenship essence!

And it is even worse on Mom's side of the family. Nana really was on of those America born children. Greatgrand-Dad and Greatgrand-Mom, were both "frozen-backs" out of the great white north. They were smuggled across the border, at some God-forsaken outpost known as Vanceboro, Maine, sneaking in from New Brunswick and Newfoundland.

They struggled across the wilderness of Maine, probably darting from pine-tree to pine-tree to avoid being caught by the border patrol (Or they took the B&M train to Boston, my recollection is fuzzy). In Boston, they had a bunch of children, including Nana in 1890.

Then, the nerve of these people, they went back to New Brunswick. Taking their American Born children, with their citizen deficient souls, back to Canada. And the bastards had the nerve to pack them all up and smuggle the whole lot (including a few additional Canadian-born kids) back into Boston.

And my Mom's father was the worst of the lot.  Born in Scotland, he served in the military of two foreign powers. First for the Brits in the South African Boer War, and then for the Canadians in the first "War To End All Wars".

Then he too, splashed his way across the St. Croix river, making his way to Boston. If the stories are true, during the 1940's anytime a British flagged ship made port in Boston, Grampa had the lot of them foreign sailers and marines over to the house and had huge parties! Oh, why didn't somebody call the immigration officials?

So, there you have it.  I'm the descendant of a pack of a citizenship-deficient souls, who sneaked into the country. Then procreated a bunch of not-really US citizen children. And they all produced grandchildren, that let's face it, really shouldn't be allowed to stay.

So, I'm going to go home, pack my bags and wait for ICE to kick in my door, demand my papers and the papers of all my ancestors.  They'll have to decide where I should be deported. Ireland, Scotland, New Brunswick? Or God help me, Newfoundland? (NOOooooooo, not Newfoundland, please no......)


Originally posted to jjhalpin on Thu Apr 29, 2010 at 01:46 PM PDT.

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