Marjorie lost her job today.
She was laid off by her employer. She was told that her services will no longer be needed, and that she would be best advised to learn another trade.
Marjorie is very sad. She liked her job. It wasn't terribly strenuous, and the pay was not bad. And while it's a job that many people might find repugnant, Marjorie had the kind of peculiar personality that fit the position. The health insurance company that she worked for recognized that when they hired her, and had hoped to employ her for a long time. But they had to let her go.
Marjorie was a recissionist.
"It's not that easy to be a recissionist", she explained. "Somebody thinks that they have health insurance, and they've paid their bills, but then they make an expensive claim. We're happy to pay some small claims, if they're on a costly low-deductible policy, but if we had to pay the big bills, we wouldn't make nearly as much money. So company policy is, well, it was until recently, to rescind those policies. But they tell me that they can't do that any more."
The Democratic-sponsored health insurance reform bill hasn't taken full effect yet, but already the effects are showing. Policy holders expect their rights, even if some of them are technically still pending. State insurance commissioners are getting friskier about vetoing rate increases. And insurance executives, long accustomed to putting on a great show for Wall Street about how low they've kept their medical loss ratios, are now trying to convince federal and state regulators that they're actually providing the services that their customers have paid for. It is not an easy task. "I'm really going to earn my bonus this year!", exclaimed Millie Pennibags, the CEO of Granite Cross, the company that just laid of Marjorie and several other recissionists.
Two job categories are in particular trouble. One is Marjorie's former position. She spent her work day trying to find grounds to find grounds to rescind policies when costly claims were made. Breast cancer was a favorite specialty. Surely a woman whose breast grew cancerous must have known about it long in the past, or have forgotten to tell some kind of material information to the company when applying for the policy. Acne? Hemorrhoids? Cordless phone user? Recissionists specialize in creating excuses to drop customers from the rolls.
The other endangered job is pre-existing condition screener. These hard-working employees made it their duty to inspect every application for a new policy with a fine-tooth comb. They consulted medical histories, ordered up tests, and on occasion cast tea leaves and read goat entrails, all to find out if anyone had a pre-existing condition that should exclude them from coverage or, in some cases, be excluded from coverage even while taking the full premium for the policy.
Obamacare threatens both types of job. Unemployment in the insurance industry will thus rise. Politicians in Connecticut and Nebraska are particularly concerned, and have asked for federal retraining assistance. "It's tragic", said one Nebraska legislator who asked to remain unnamed. "We had a good thing going, and now the liberals have made it possible for even sick people to get health care. It just isn't fair."
When asked what she plans to do next, Marjorie was uncertain. "Maybe I'll try to get work in a turkey slaughterhouse. The pay's not as good, but at least I'll still get that special feeling that I was used to having on my old job. But maybe, if Sarah Palin gets elected, I'll be able to get my job back." It's faint hope indeed.