The big news tonight:
Sleestak has defeated Arlen S.P.E.C.T.R.E. for the Democratic Senate nomination in Pennsylvannia. While lizards going to Washington isn't unususal, what makes this victory notable is the long-time and well-established reutation of his opponent.
-Sleestak (File Photo)
A hard-fought battle, marked most notably by the low turnout and disinterest of the voters, it has peaked the interest of Croft fans everywhere.
The ancient S.P.E.C.T.R.E., when reached by your intrepid reporter at his secret mountain base, somewhere in the hills south of State College,
stated "My goal is still to take over the world, and it's crime!"
-Arlen S.P.E.C.T.R.E.
During his concession speech, he said, "It has been a great privilege to screw the people of Pennsylvania for over 30 years."
Sleestak must now face his Republican opponent, H.R. Pufnstuf
Sleestak's Republican opponent has not been reached for comment.
The November winner will advance to the LAND OF THE LOST, Also known as Washington, D.C.
UPDATE #1:
If you don't get the joke, ASK SOMEONE OVER 40 YEARS OLD!