The last time I got a hate mail good enough to share the stage all by itself, it was titled, "Dear Socialist Fuckstick."
Today's single mail is good. Maybe too good. Could it be a fake? You decide.
God sends a cease and desist letter.
DIVEST YOURSELF OF FILTH!!!!
You are a merchant of SIN! You're publication constantly celebrates & promotes many moral evils; such as sodomy & homosexuality, tribadism, bestiality, necrophilia, polygamy, adultery, atheism, idolatry, satan worship, treason, theft, lying & TAKING THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN! If you want ANY hope of seeing heaven you must remove any reference to the abovementioned sins & any others IMMEDIATELY! This is not just my opinion: THE LORD DEMANDS YOUR COMPLIANCE!!!
You MUST forbid self-admitted sodomites from writing & commenting on your website. You also MUST require all material on youw website to be written by christian authors (catholics are permitted, but not Jehova's witnesses or mormons). These measures will not however save you're soul unless you show REAL REPENTANCE IN BOTH THOUGHT AND DEED! Ask yourself this: Which matters to you most: fleeting fame or you're eternal soul? The sodomite lobby can offer you gold & flattery but their tongues are forked and their honeyed lies will turn to vinegar! Take the Lord Jesus Christ into you're life & into you're heart and turn you're back on the corrupt men & women who serve SATAN AND NOT GOD!
HEED THE COMMAND OF THE LORD: I AM THE LORD THY GOD!! THOU SHALT NOT HAVE ANY OTHER GODS BESIDES ME!!!
WHEN THE ENDTIME COMES THE ARMIES OF ISRAEL SHALL RISE & THE HOST OF HEAVEN SHALL DESCEND UPON THE WICKED AND THE LORD SEBAOT WILL LEAD THEM IN BATTLE AND THERE WILL BE NO GRAY BUT ONLY THE GLORIOUS BLINDING WHITE OF GOD AND THE EVIL BLACKNESS OF THE DEVIL! CHOOSE THY SIDE WELL & WISELY FOR THOSE WHO DITHER WILL BE COUNTED AS SATAN'S OWN!
WE MUST SEE ALL POLITICIANS AS FALSE PROPHETS WHO PROMISE PROSPERITY BUT DELIVER ONLY ASHES! WE MUST BECOME A CHRISTIAN NATION AGAIN: CONTROLLED BY GOD, NOT BY CHEAP MEDIA WHORES WHO CARE FOR NO ONE BUT THEMSELVES! THE BIBLE AS OUR NEW AND FOREVER CONSTITUTION; THE CROSS AS OUR FLAG: THIS IS THE ONLY WAY RESTORE OUR SOUL AND TO WIN OUR HOLY WAR AGAINST THE MOHAMMEDAN SCOURGE!
I WILL PRAY FOR YOU BUT MY PRAYERS ALONE WILL NOT LIFT YOU INTO HEAVEN! FOR THIS YOU MUST CHANGE YOU'RE WAYS AND BECOME A LAMB OF GOD! ABANDON YOU'RE LIFE OF WEALTH AND SPEND YOUR DAYS IN PRAISE AND TESTIFY TO THE AWESOME POWER OF THE LORD!
AND IF I WERE YOU I WOULD ALSO ADD A CROSS SOMEWHERE ON YOUR WEBSITE TO MARK THE THE BEGINNING OF YOU'RE JOURNEY DOWN THE RIGHTEOUS PATH. THE LORD SEES EVEN THE SMALLEST OF GESTURES WHEN THEIR SINCERE! HALLELUJAH!
Let us pray: Oh lord, let us see the deceivers for who they are & give us the strength to reject them and they're lies. Give you're faithful children humility & wisdom for that is all they need to thrive & prosper. Strike down the soulless blasphemers & those who wrongfully use you're holy and powerful name. Blind all who write evil & take away the voice of all who speak it. Bless the weapons of you're faithful soldiers & let they're aim be true. Give health to you're followers & let all manners of plague infest the houses and cities of disbelievers. Grant us our daily bread & deliver us from temptation. Yours is the Kingdom & the glory everlasting. Amen.
No way I'm ditching the filth on this site! You guys are family.
I'll content myself with chatting up Nietzsche, Hemingway, and Ben Franklin in hell.