An old friend died this week.
The loss was compounded by having to read those words in his obituary: Long-time companion.
It should have said husband.
What a couple. What a story. Twenty-six years. Both were HIV positive when they met and fell in love. They were young and scared. Twenty-six years ago, HIV was a death sentence. They didn’t think they had a lot of time but wanted whatever they could get. They took the risk of loving.
Time passed. They both developed AIDS. Medical miracles brought them back from the edge so many times. The disease continued to take a toll. They cared for each other, taking turns being the strong one.
They shared everything – even the same first name – but couldn’t have been more different. A skinny guy and a lumberjack. Boisterous and quiet. Excitable and calm. Contrasts. Complements. It is almost impossible to think of one without the other. They were salt and pepper.
They were not financially flush, but were generous. They hired LGBT youth to do odd jobs around their home because they knew some of the kids needed the money and someone to keep an eye on them. They volunteered with youth. They talked about how much it would have meant to them to have a support network when they were teens.
We did the annual "relationship panel" talk together for the local youth group. They were the male couple. There was a female couple, and I was part of what we joked was the token straight couple. They told their story sweetly. They interrupted each other when they remembered things differently. They were realistic. They were honest about their illness and how hard that was to manage. They gave sage advice. But more than anything, they were irrefutable proof that love looks and sounds the same no matter who you are. They gave a generation of LGBT youth hope that there was a future for them.
More than any other couple I have ever known, they cherished every minute they had together. And they deserved the affirmation and recognition that other couples have.
I am thankful they had many more years than they thought they would. There still weren’t enough.