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dKos' Nurse Kelly tells us that when we have a medical crises we should at least let people know.  Having been here for on dKos for about 5 years now, means that I've made some friends.  Therefore I need to inform those friends of what is going on and what is going to happen.

My medical crises is so intense at the moment that I would at least pop a cap into my head if I had the opportunity to do so.  Luckily here in Germany pistols are not so easy to get if you don't have mafia connections.

It's guilt really.  No, it is not the guilt you feel when you don't eat the chicken soup your mother made.  It's the Lady MacBeth guilt of the blood on your hands so thick that it drips onto the floor and there is never a way to wash it off.

In other words, I'm fucking nuts!

Yea, nuts, crazy, insane, and simply sick

Nurse Kelly sezs

The good thing is that the Board of Veteran's Appeals, finally after eight years, service connected the PTSD in February.

I reside in Germany, that means I am on the VA Foreign Medical Program.  The FMP will only pay for service-connected medical issues overseas.  Now, I don't have to worry about going to the hospital and worrying about it getting paid.  Thanks to my attorney.

Also.  I've written many "don't let the door hit you in the ass" comments in other GBCW diaries. However, my only human contacts are here on dKos and the internet.  I've really only conducted contact with orange UIDs for the last couple of years.  I go to my PhD advisor and university and I get cold sweats and the shakes on the bus.  It's hard to go to the library but I do best when I check out books and bring them home.  My family in the US is not even aware since I have estanged from them several year ago.

I am probably headed to the http://www.helios-kliniken.de/... Psychiatric clinic.  I have the number for the EMT 741-5116 to come get me.  I am simply packing my tote-bag now and waiting for the self-medication to wear off before I call them.

So it is this diary and a note by email to my attorney, to let the world know what is going on.  What the world does with it is their decision.

Originally posted to Jeffersonian Democrat on Sun Jun 06, 2010 at 02:18 PM PDT.

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