Racism is man’s gravest threat to man – the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason.
Abraham J. Heschel
A recent USA Today article discussed the trend of interracial marriage in America. (Small, but growing.) Of the reasons I fell in with the libertarian crowd, their attitude towards the subject of race was one of the most prominent. My wife and I are what Americans - always leery about stepping on the racial dragon’s tail – euphemistically refer to as "a mixed race couple". Hanging with the Ron Paul crowd was a refreshing change for us because none of them came running up prattling about how nice it was to "see black people here" (Republican) or gushing how some of their "best friends are black". (Democrat) At the libertarian gatherings nobody seemed to care at all, or at least not enough to mention. To me, that’s a good sign.
Ludwig Von Mises simply dismissed the racists of his day by noting that nothing in history justified "the white man’s racial self-conceit nor the political doctrines of racism". Reflecting his opinion of its importance, his writings on the subject were practically nonexistent, so writing a column on race may seem strange for someone who adheres to a libertarian outlook - but give me a few pages. I realize that libertarian philosophy, seeing all people as singular and unique all on their own, does not group humanity on the basis of race – or anything else for that matter.
Yet, I see race in the everyday of America, how the idea of it infects our mind, and how easily it is used to turn the working masses one against the other. Living now in a mostly black neighborhood, I observe first hand the front lines of our endless War On Drugs and the behavior of the police towards the black youth around me. They behave as an occupying army, which is only fitting I suppose because they are (as the title of their most lavishly funded campaign suggests) engaged in a war.
This is not a sappy call for all to join me in eradicating racism; I leave that to the well meaning, if dim, college kids and their candle-lit hug-a-thons. I am not naive enough to believe people will ever form into a giant, universal hug. While we are social creatures by our very nature, we’re not that social. Part of the fun that comes from forming into a collective group is to decide whom to exclude. I’m not fool enough to think that this aspect of human nature can be changed and besides, modern Americans as a people are rather inclined to hate each other. North hates South, Left hates Right, country folk hate city folk, Democrats have a bug up their ass about smokers, gun owners, and fat people, while Republicans hate just about everyone who’s not wearing a cowboy hat.
Americans have an undying belief in passing legislation chock full of feel good intentions, to goad and prod us to that ever illusive, giant universal hug, and therefore might propose something along the lines of government mandated interracial marriages. Sadly, Americans being the "can do" type would easily overcome that obstacle and, even with all the kids mixed up like, we’d merely turn up the volume on our pre-existing prejudices and raise them to hate one another over the slightest of gradations in skin tone. Brown bag parties have a sad history on black college campuses. I’m not for wasting time; the legislative path will lead us in nothing but a circle.
I do agree, though, that everyone really should marry outside of his or her race as it holds a number of advantages. For one, it’s nice to see how many stereotypes most certainly are true, at least in the case of your new family. You learn that white people really can’t dance, and you’ll have a wife more than happy to remind you every time you forget yourself and start dancing in public again or, God forbid, in front of the family. Plus, interracial couples produce exceptionally good-looking children, Halle Berry being but one example, my son being another.
Which brings me to the reason for this column. My son is through no fault of his own what Americans - always leery about stepping on the racial dragon’s tail – euphemistically refer to as "a mixed race child". The racial fault line that divides us runs right through the middle of him. In the event, Lord forbid, this country ever descends into a Rwanda, he would be particularly vulnerable as he, by the very nature of a racial conflict, would be vastly outnumbered. As he is beyond cute, has a big fluffy fro, and wants nothing more than to watch Transformers 57,287 times each month, does he deserve a cruel fate? Something needs to be done about our country’s irrational, fixation on skin color.
I realize the argument for my proposal has quickly devolved into pure emotion, but what else wallows at the bottom of racism, rational thought? What makes skin color so important, why not height, or the shape of the ear? So my proposal, when you don’t think about it, makes perfect sense because it makes none at all, so it is utterly American, utterly doable, and my son’s very life may depend on it.
I propose federal legislation be passed that the color of a person’s eyes replace on all public and private forms where now they ask for the color of your skin. It’s still color, which we obsess over too much to give up on, so I’m playing it safe and just proposing we substitute a different body part for skin. We need to raise the problem of eye color into the American conscience and, more than anything, outlaw colored contact lenses. It will take endless agitation to educate Americans about the danger of those people, but if anyone tells us it’s stupid we’ll simply reply "why not?" and leave them to stew. They always stew, those people. You know. Green eyed ones. Stalin had green eyes, W too, say some websites. Most rapists have green eyes. Go look it up.
Green eyes reveal the inferiority and violent nature of those who wear them, placed there by a loving (and definitely non-green eyed) God for our protection and to mark those who will bear our water and till our soil. I’m not afraid to admit I’ve let my son know that if he ever brings a green-eyed girl home I’ll knock him into next week. But I needn’t worry about that; I’m starting on him early. He’s a smart little one, my boy is, and quickly stopped hanging out with his former best friend Danny. I was so proud when my son had that little snot leave the house with tears pouring out of his green eyes.
You know how overemotional those people are, they cry so easily - grates on the nerves, doesn’t it?