I keep hearing Glenn Beck and a long list of other clowns who have no real understanding of freedom or liberty keep telling us that they alone know what our "founding fathers" were thinking.
And I'm about ready to make myself famous and run up on a stage to cram a sock down their throats and grab the microphone so I can ask just one question to Glenn "we're all gonna die" Beck, Rush "I'm not fat, I'm just portrayed that way" Limp-paw, Bill "I didn't fuck her but I gave her 20 million out of the goodness of my heart just shut up" O'Really, and that other monkey Hannity.
If you clowns keep insiting that you've got personal ways to commune with the dead and distill from our founders all the thoughts they DID NOT write down in the Constitution - can I just ask you a simple question?
Why didn't they just write it down?
(rant blathers on below the fold)
These sanctimonious, falsely-pious, hypocritical whores who are the Fox News Puppets keep bragging about "freedom" and "liberty" - and they always point to the Constitution of the U. S. of God Bless A.
Written in 1789 1787, ratified by 1791 1789 (hat tip and thank you to poleshifter for the correction) and supposedly the bedrock foundation of what makes our country great because it was the noble embodiment of what our great founders wanted us to be our most supreme law.
Got it?
Constituion.
Most supreme law.
Got it.
Whatever "G"od gave us, boys, he somehow left it up to mortal men (and women) to protect and defend it - so we thought we'd lay some of our own ground rules that were predicated on secular logic and something that was enforcable and acceptable to all parties involved regardless of what "G"od they worshipped, and how that worship was accomplished.
So Glenn (Et al) -
If our founders wanted us to all be Christian
If our founders wanted us to all be small-government "C"onservatives
If our founders somehow knew in 1789 that an ex-actor in 1980 would somehow be the only guy who got all the answers right -
...why did they just not write that down?
?
What our founders gave us was the Constituion of the United States.
It's not only NOT carved in stone, they were also cognizant of their own faults and omissions or the fates of changing times that they even gave us the power to amend said Constitution to reflect whatever values of the day we could agree on. If you, Glenn, et al. Dont' agree with this, they we should all still have slaves, women should not be allowed to vote, and - and we can start counting people fractionally again.
(it's gonna suck if you're Michael Steele, but hey - you joined their little party, Mike)
So here's MY pitchfork in the faces and up the butts of these sanctimonious, self-righteous, falsely-pious bastards that lick Rupert Murdoch's crotch like it was a Red, White, and Blue Moon-Pie:
If you really think you alone know what our founders wanted - which is apparently based on everything ELSE they ever said or thought or wrote down that is NOT in the Constitution, then what you're really saying is that you don't think our founders got it right when they wrote the Constitution - isn't that right, Glenn?
I mean - what our founders DID give us is right there in that beautiful document. It's what has sustained our country for over 240 years. And you clowns keep thinking that every time your party wins an election that our founders rejoice; every time anyone else wins it's time for a revolution to "take your country back"
Listen up, assholes - I'm one of many whom you're threatening to take your country "back" from, and I'm not so goddamn sure I'm going to let you have it without a fight. So here's my ultimatum to your perpetual ultimatums:
Fire your guns, or shut up. Because you can't be crying about how our founders would feel betrayed and the time for revolution is nigh...day in and day out...and not launch the attack already. If you cry wolf, there had better be a goddamn wolf, or you're going to lose the respect of everyone that comes running with their hair on fire to help you kill the wolf...that ain't there.
Because someday there will be a wolf and you'll be abandoned with a yawn.
(why can't I get the name of Saddamn Hussein to stop echoing in my head?)
The reason you can't yell "fire" in a crowded theater (unless there is actually a fire, then it is your civil duty) is because people can be NEEDLESSLY killed in the panicked stampede to the exits when they all try to flee what isn't there.
It's a noble thing to die for your country, indeed. It's another thing altogether to get killed for some hysterical fools folly because he was an attention whore who couldn't get his mommy to love him, and thus became a pyromaniac to get all the townspeople running with a bucket brigade.
Either your country really has been surrendered, and you had goddamn well better fire something now to stop it (and tell us what we should be firing at to help you stop it) -
OR
Or, you're a simple shameless whore.
You see, Glenn, Rush, Bill, Shawn - if your country really has been "surrendered", "taken over", "compromised", "lost" - and all you did was enjoy the ratings boost and suck up more money into PACS that never really account for it beyond the lesbian S&M parties,
...then you bastards are the ones who have committed treason.
That's right - according to your own rhetoric since 2008, your country was "surrendered", "lost", "destroyed", or at least taken over by (insert racist pejorative moniker here) and all you've done so far is enjoy the limelight and the ratings boost. I'm not sure what kind of patriot would have, in 1787, thought Fox News was anything less than a drunk town crier with paranoid delusions who stole from the fearful and paranoid and gave to the rich and shameless.
One thing our founders were not was a group of attention whores. We gave them the attention and adulation and gratitude AFTER they did the noble things; you empty shells want your pictures on the money before you have made the money worth anything.
God would not be pleased by your lack of shame. I'd ask "H"im, but he won't answer my calls.
So.
Get to it already. If you really do insist that your country is being "lost" - you had better get the phalanx of militia assembled and launch the first wave already before our founders fill their coffins with their own tears and drown in your own misguided lack of shame.
Because if you don't, you just admitted to "G"od, our founders, your own mother and anyone else who is sober and awake that you dont' even take your own bullshit seriously.
I'm tired of being called a traitor.
We shoot traitors, because they will indeed destroy the country.
So if you call me a traitor, you had better shoot me already.
If you're paying attention, (since you love the military discipline so much) those in the military who are given a weapon and charged with defending something are convicted of "dereliction of duty" if they don't actually take substantive steps to defend their post. Keeping on's own weapon holstered while yelling at the other guys and telling them it's their turn to fire doesn't cut it.
I'm a Democrat, and I support the ideals as embodied by the men and women who are elected as Democrats, Liberals, Progressives who serve under the auspices of the Democratic (not 'Democrat', you second-grade name callers) party. If you think that is a corrosive, destructive, evil force that threatens our country and you do NOT stop it,
then you're the traitor. You stood by and did nothing.
I'm not talking about free speech and writing corrosive articles filled with bombastic language that says you're right and everyone is wrong; that's different than saying "it's time to take our country back"
and calling people "socialists" just because it gathers a larger crowd than when you called them merely "Democrats".
The Pentagon sent us to war in Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia to stop communism and socialism. We built tens of thousands of nuclear weapons and kept bombers in the air constantly for sixty years to fight against Communism and Socialsm.
Now you shameless crybabies act like it's already here - not just on our shores, but sworn into office - and all you do is scream louder into the microphone at a town-hall rally and cry like your dog got run over?
But here's a different thought to ponder.
If our founders wanted us to all be Conservatives, they could have written it down. They might have made that the first Amendment, "Thou shalt be a small government Conservative"
They didn't.
If our founders wanted us to all be religious, specifically Christians, specifically Protestant (don't tell the five members of the Supreme Court who are Catholic) or any other more specific denomination, they could have written that down.
They didn't.
If our founders felt that the Constitution were as rigid and perfect as Antonin Scalia thinks it is and therefore would never need modification or clarification until time immortal itself expired, they never would have given us the dangerous capacity to amend it.
They did give us that.
As I understand it, as measured by the current rhetoric of the TEA party flamethrowers, our founders screwed up pretty bad, didn't they?
So, in summary, Dear TEA party deluded fools,
If our founders wanted us all to look, think, walk, talk, eat, chew gum and fire guns just like you and you alone, all they had to do, Glenn, was write it down...
They had the parchment laid out before them on the table...
They had plenty of ink....
Quill pens could be found in the plumage of the very kinds of turkeys that to this day still frequent my back yard...
...All they had to do was write it down.
But that's not what they wrote, is it Glenn?
They didn't ask us to be Godlwater Republicans, because there was not even a Republican party until Lincoln....and since you assholes are so eager to secceed, you've pretty much defiled Ol' Honest Abe's grave, haven't you?
They didn't ask us to all be Christians of a particular or specific flavor.
They didn't ask us to make Keynesian economics part of our law either, or forbid the Federal Reserve -
What our founders did write down was a fairly loose framework that goes something like this: (these are my words)
"When in the course of human events, it becomes clear that having one guy make all the decisions really sucks for everyone but that one guy, it would indeed be better if we created a system of government that allows all people to have the freedom to pursue their own personal bliss - with one caveat: Dont' fuck up the freedom of anyone else while they are pursuing their bliss.
And that means you all have to play nice.
Judge us by what we write in this document, the Constitution of the United States. Regardless of our personal preferences or our individual writings kept in our own personal libraries, we can only agree on and therefore only expect you to live up to, what we have given you here, in 1787: The Constitution of the United States of America. It must first be ratified by the several states, but we think we can get that done by say, maybe 1789.
They are simply rules to get along. They are secular rules that employ the rules of logic and reason; no religious interpretation is needed. If we felt that one would be, we'd tell you which one to follow. We did not.
We don't expect you to be purely carbon copies of us, because freedom is more important to us than obedience. As a matter of fact, we abhor obedience, to the degree that it was demanded by our last ruler. So we ask that you maintain fidelity to only one document - this Constitution - not all of our individual and collected words as your founders, because even we know we don't always see life through the same lens. That's the point.
The point is that we are giving you a stage for you to act out upon and to be whatever you want to be - provided you don't kick the shit out of each other and make the whole project a tragic waste.
Tragedies are for Shakespeare, and we hope you do not believe he wrote them to give you a goal.
In short, we, Your Founding Fathers, do bequeath upon you the following ideal: If it makes you feel good to swing your arms, we have left you a stage for you to swing your arms to your hearts' content.
However, the freedom to swing your arms ends at the tip of the nose of whoever is standing nearby.
Follow this simple rule, and you ideally will be able to enjoy the collective fruits of your combined works, (something you would miss were you to all go off on your own path and forsake one another), and thereby you may achieve greater aims as a nation united than what you could as a disparate group of individuals all beset upon only your own goals to the exlusion of any other.
WE hold these truths to be self evident (and you should too):
-if you can't get along, there will be "war". War is "H"ell right here on Earth regardless of what you envision in the afterlife.
-If you can't align in common purpose, we call that anarchy. We are here to build a government, and since anarchy is the lack of government, well...that would be kind of a waste, wouldn't it?
If you can't realize that even though you brag about all the freedom that "G"od gave you, it still takes an agent of the state along with his (or her) fidelity to the law to defend you when someone else tries to harm you. "G"od it seems, regardless of what you think "H"e might want for you, has left your protection and freedom on this mortal Earth, in the hands of other mere mortals like yourself.
They might be "God given" laws - but all the cops are mortal just like you, and just as prone to indescretions as you are. "God Given" laws would imply they would be "God protected" laws, and you don't see "H"im wearing a badge and carrying a billy club, do you?
Show more respect for each other.
Because the alternative sucks.
____________________________________________________
George Carlin delivered a brilliant and profound line:
"Live and Let Live, that's always been the motto in my family.
Anyone who can't go along with that, take 'em outside and shoot the motherfucker."
When I consider the Teabagger lunatics of late, that joke is not as funny as it used to be because it's way too close to the headlines of our day.
What I see today in 2010, would make our founders wail in despair. Specifically because of the deluded hubris embodied by those who think they, and they alone, know what those founders wanted.
Were they alive to show us, our founders would wail in despair, not because we did not live up to their own personal civil, religious, political views, but because we forgot - we forsake - the one word that they felt was so important that they made it the first word in the name of our land: United.
This is the United States of America.
It's about goddamn time we started acting like it.
snafubar out.