Good evening GUSsacks, excellent supporters, and interested onlookers.
Almost exactly one year ago to the second, I smoked what was intended to be my last cigarette. At that time, my brand was Camel Lights, which I could still get for $7.50 a pack at my local corner store.
Hell of a deal.
GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or thinking of quitting, please -- join us! We kindly ask that politics be set aside.
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My motivation to quit was financial, and it still is. Times are tough enough without dumping an extra $250-300 a month on cigarettes. But I stayed quit (mostly) with the help of the GUS community.
What's this about "mostly?"
A couple of Fridays ago, I went to a BBQ/NHL Stanley Cup-viewing, and met with friends who I hadn't seen in years, all fellow musicians who I go back with to the very first gig I played in Chicago, 1993. Along with what must have been 30 or so others, we ate, drank, cheered, and cursed our local hockey team, who would lose the battle that night but eventually win the war.
Trigger #1: Drinking. This is a habit I should not be engaged in. And I am aware that there is help available for this, whether it is Alcoholics Anonymous (also with atheist/agnostic version), SMART Recovery, HAMS Recovery (Harm Reduction/Moderation/Abstinence), or Recovery International. Now that I have stated it to all of you, clearly, and in a diary, I am now accountable on this issue as I am to quitting smoking. But primarily, my main point in bringing up drinking here is that it helped trigger my urge for a cigarette.
Trigger #2: Conversation with an attractive and interesting member of the opposite sex. As we sat outside on the porch talking about world affairs, music, and yoga, L---- rolled her own cigarettes. I wound up bumming two off her. My reasoning was mighty weak, that because the tobacco was high-quality and (in my rationalizing mind) free of the 3,000+ added chemicals, I could get away with it.
Uncharacteristic of me, I remained lucid the rest of the evening, or at least enough to resist the offer of a regular (i.e. chemically-stacked) cigarette after my friends and I had left the party. Sure, it would have been better had I not smoked at all. But smoking a cigarette that is packed with ammonionated compounds designed to deliver the nicotine to my brain in seconds would have made me feel both sick, with an even greater need for more nicotine afterwards.
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It's now over a week after the fact. Since that night?
I awoke the next day with a slight hack. It was nowhere near as bad as when I was coating my lungs with a pack's worth of cigarettes per day, but it was enough to remind me of what I don't want to go back to.
I came clean to my mates in GUS as soon as I could, and have continued to stay active here.
I have been crystal clear that I got really damn lucky that night, and realize that such an occurrence is not likely to happen again.
And I am painfully aware that my financial situation is no less dire than it was a year ago. Quite simply, smoking remains a habit I cannot afford.
My fear in relaying my tale here is that as far as stories go, it is an insufficient deterrent. Not only for you, but for myself, as well. I mean, come on. Went to a party, had a great time, met interesting people... had a couple of cigarettes... and haven't wanted any since?
Now that's dangerous. Hence, I remain on yellow alert, and the Nicorette gum is always within reach.
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Upon thinking about whether to reset my quit smoking date, I decided to keep my original date from last year, as long as I continue to remain smoke free after my lapse. If I smoke again, all bets are off and I will reset my quit date. That is, if I am lucky enough to (yet again) generate enough energy to muster another quit.
Is it cheating? Only if I think it is. Were another GUSsack to check in under similar circumstances, I'd suggest "keep the date, but be careful."
Please believe me when I say that in no way am I suggesting that you (or I) can get away with a smoke every once in a while. Ultimately, the decision is personal. For most ex-smokers, having "just one" cigarette is a one-way ticket over a slippery slope.
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Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids was the chosen source of donation for our one year anniversary.
Though we are at this time unable to donate in the name of GUS, I urge you to check out their website and consider a gift for a great cause; that of keeping children away from the source of future multiple diseases.
Donate!!! Suggested: add .01 and show GUS representation!
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Current members of the GUS team!
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GUS FIRST ANNIVERSARY QUIT-A-PALOOZA / GUS 2.0 DIARY SCHEDULE
(All times EST)
1-4 AM Night Owl edition, with your charming host bsmechanic
4-6 AM Early Bird edition (early AM Eastern, to catch the early birds & perhaps folks in Europe?) - do we have any takers?
9-11 AM - West Coast Edition - FrugalGranny will be for West Coast early birds, and run through mid-day/lunch for the Eastern folks. You will love those pics!
Noon-2 PM - Lunchtime GUS. Any takers for this one? You gotta do something now that you don't smoke through your lunch hour!
2-4 PM bgblcklab1 Mid afternoon naptime Edition. Admit it. You don't take naps, but you'd love to. Because nothing takes the edge off in an early quit better than a nap. Diarist will flex schedule with adjoining GUS diaries, so as to be gentle with the Recent List.
6-8 PM aoeu - hat image open thread...do we want to make this an anniversary-themed diary with one or more "OGs" as hosts?
11PM-1AM West Coast Edition with ChocolateChris (late-night for East Coasters, but "prime time" for Pacific folks!)
3AM-? Insomniac's Night Owl edition - any insomniacs in the house wanna grab this baby?
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