From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Two Years of Non-puffery
One of our neighbors, who lives in the apartment building next door, has to go outside to light up because smoking isn't allowed inside. He seems to live by a similar creed as the Post Office: "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays the smoker from the swift completion of his nicotine influsion." When the breeze blows from a certain direction and our windows are open I get a whiff of it. Blech. That smell used to permeate everything in our hoouse---from the carpets to the bookshelves to the pets.
Fortunately, I rarely smell cigarette smoke anymore. Smoking's not allowed in restaurants or bars here (or on commercial airliners---remember those glory days?), fewer people smoke in general, and also as of today my partner Michael has gone two years without a puff. (Most noticable health benefits so far: smoker's hack long gone, able to leap tall staircases in a single bound.)
It's difficult to watch someone you love be so subservient to a cylinder filled with junk that was calibrated by corporate scientists (a pox on them) to be perfectly addictive, and marketed by shameless Madison Avenue executives (a pox on them, too) to be perfectly appealing. So when someone manages to break free from that kind of multi-billion-dollar manipulation, it's worth shouting from the rooftops: Booyeah!!!
Last year the Democratic congress and the Democratic president finally gave the green light to let the FDA regulate tobacco. (Did I say finally? I meant to say FINALLY!!!!!) One of their efforts goes into effect this month: prohibiting cigarette companies from using weasel words like "light," "mild," and "low" on their packaging to imply health benefits. I look forward to more measures like this, until cigarettes have all the appeal of eating boogers. From someone else's nose.
So how does Michael resist the urge to seize on the symbolic unopened pack of menthol "lights" he's kept in the freezer for two years? His primary tactic is similar to what many people do when they quit drinking: instead of thinking, "I can never have another cigarette ever for the rest of my life," he takes it one day at a time: "I won’t have a cigarette today." He also pops a lot of Ice Breakers, and thinks about the approximately $10,000 we've saved so far. Plus I do my part: whenever I feel like Michael's getting the urge to light up, I lock him in the bathroom. As he bangs on the door he releases the stress that can trigger a relapse.
In a fortuitous bit of timing, this week also marks the one-year anniversary of the Daily Kos support group called GUS:
GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or thinking of quitting, please---join us!
Anyone who breaks the smoking addiction---or simply attempts to, especially in the batshit times in which we live---deserves a medal. If it were up to me, I'd call it the Meritorious Order of the Pink Lung. Because as Safina wrote in Monday's GUS diary: "Breathing is a solidly good thing."
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Note: No pelicans were harmed in the writing of today's C&J. Or any other post written by anyone at Daily Kos ever.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Father's Day: 5
Days `til the U.S. Open golf tournament at Pebble Beach: 2
Percent of June that's over: 50%
Percent of Americans who, according to an NBC News poll taken one year ago, wanted a public option in health insurance reform legislation: 76%
Career games Willie Mays played in center field, the most of any player in pro baseball: 2,677
(Source: USA Today)
Number of registered Kossacks as of yesterday morning: 247,036
(Source: Not Jotter)
Years comedian Lewis Black's parents (ages 90 and 91) have been married: 64
(Source: Lewis Black)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
THEY TOLD ME IF WE ELECTED BARACK OBAMA THEY’D BE putting up statues of Stalin around our nation’s capital. And they were right!
All together now: One...two...three... Wrong, asshole!!!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Couch warmers
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CHEERS to The Preeeeeecious. Mmmm...I love the smell of a trillion dollars worth of untapped lithium in the morning, don’t you? Actually, kids, don’t be fooled---this whole "astonishing Afghanistan minerals discovery" is really old. Everyone's known about it for years and the Department of Defense appears to be trying to literally distract the public with a shiny object. Still...that's a helluva shiny object! Perhaps we finally have a glimpse of what it'll take to bring Afghanistan together: good old capitalist greed. Ms. Rand...meet yer new converts!
JEERS to the reason we need a moratorium on offshore drilling. I was watching oil industry bootlicker Trent Lott on Hardball yesterday. He doesn’t think there should be a six-month moratorium on deepwater drilling. Why? Because, by his logic, we've gone 60 whole years without completely killing an entire gulf region, so we should get one freebie. I disagree. My reason is a bit stronger than Trent's. From 60 Minutes:
Now, there is new concern about another BP facility in the Gulf: a former BP insider tells us the platform "Atlantis" is a greater threat than the Deepwater Horizon. Ken Abbott has worked for Shell and GE. And in 2008 he was hired by BP to manage thousands of engineering drawings for the Atlantis platform. ...
"I've never seen this kind of attitude, where safety doesn't seem to matter and when you complain of a problem like Barry did and like I did and try to fix it, you're just criticized and pushed aside," Abbott said. ... "The Atlantis is still pumping away out there, 200,000 barrels a day, and it will be four times that in a year or two when they put in all 16 wells. If something happens there, it will make the Deepwater Horizon look like a bubble in the water by comparison," Abbott said.
With all due respect, Mr. Lott, sir, and knowing that I'm speaking to a person of great stature and longevity within the hallowed halls of D.C. and the fine state of Mississippi, and understanding that you are a well-coifed elder statesman deserving of deference and humility (not to mention free healthcare for the rest of your life at taxpayer expense): fuck off.
JEERS to the strange and exotic ways of the POTUS. Maybe Jonathan Alter's right. But in my opinion [beating my chest here for emphasis] he's putting the president under too large of a microscope when he says (as he did last night on Countdown) that tonight's presidential address (8pm)---his first from the Oval office---is a risky move. It's risky, says Alter, because "they don’t know if it's a milieu that suits him." Now, here's my question for you, dear reader: when did anyone ever wonder if any of our previous 43 presidents could successfully deliver a speech to the American people from the Oval Office? (Besides President Washington, I mean, who had no Oval Office and had to improvise by drawing a chalk oval in the driveway outside Mount Vernon and YELLING VERY LOUD.) It's not like Obama's gonna be hanging upside down from a trapeze wearing a sailor suit and swallowing swords---it's just his own damn office! What he says is more important than where he says it. Besides, they'll have Congressman Joe Wilson on hand to hurl insults at him if they feel things are dragging.
CHEERS to helping old ladies cross the street (whether they want to or not). Ninety four years ago, in 1916, Congress approved an official charter for the Boy Scouts of America. Michael and I are both Eagle Scouts (and gay ones at that, which really pisses off the right-wingers at the national HQ). In honor of today's anniversary we booted our computers by rubbing two sticks together. The fire insurance should cover most of the damage.
JEERS to the C&J mailbag. Damn, it's expensive mailing stuff overseas:
Dear Saudi Arabia,
Greetings. I hope this finds you well. Things are heating up here in Maine, but probably nothing like the weather where you are. Bet your ACs are running overtime. Ha ha.
I'm writing you because I read about your recent arrest of a 20-something gentleman whom you caught "engaging in immoral movements in front of other shoppers." Or, to be more specific, kissing and hugging his girlfriend at the mall.
Your sentence of four months in prison, 90 lashes, and a two-year ban on returning to the mall seems about right, but I feel you should've gone for the death-by-fire-ants penalty and, if necessary, settled for hanging-by-the-thumbs for six months while villagers beat his genitals with sticks. But 90 lashes is good, too. We don't do lashes much here, especially in June---we much prefer stonings so that the Creator will bless us with a robust corn crop.
Oh, and we're pleased that you're charging the women involved for their crimes, too. We also recommend you arrest their pets, which we believe are much more involved in these moral transgressions than most people realize.
If we are to preserve traditional values, we must keep the world pure---and purity begins, of course, in the sacred food court.
Sincerely and with blessings upon the Orange Julius (praise him),
BiPM
I'm filling the envelope with sparkle glitter.
CHEERS to Things That Bounce for $400, Alex. On this date in 1844, Charles Goodyear got a patent for better rubber, which would prove wilddly successful in the production of tires. Not so successful: Goodyear's production of steel-belted condoms.
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Five years ago in C&J: June 15, 2005
CHEERS to the Tipping Point. A new Gallup poll shows that a majority of Americans are waking up and smelling Bush's lies: "Of those who say the war wasn't worth it [56%], the top reasons cited are fraudulent claims and no weapons of mass destruction found; the number of people killed and wounded; and the belief that Iraq posed no threat to the United States." Now banned from the White House rec room: dominoes.
JEERS to the idiots among us. Same Gallup poll: "Of the 42% who say the Iraq war was worth it, the top reasons cited are the Sept. 11 attacks on the United States [and] the need to stop terrorism..." Proof that evolution also works in reverse. Banana?
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And just one more...
CHEERS to crack for headline writers. The #1 movie at the box office last weekend was the remake of The Karate Kid. And---surprise---the media had a field day with the clichés:
Karate Kid delivers killer kick at box office
'The Karate Kid' Kung Fu Chops The Weekend
The new Karate Kid hits big
'Karate Kid' actually kicks out a winner
THE KARATE KID DECKS THE A-TEAM
'Karate Kid': Bully for you!
Karate Kid for the Win!
'The Karate Kid' Kicks Out 'Shrek 4' From Box Office Peak
KARATE KID CHOPS UP MOVIE BOX OFFICE COMPETITION
'Karate Kid' delivers killer kick at box office
'Karate Kid' kicks competish
Not quite Sticks Nix Hick Pix caliber. But 'A' for effort.
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Have a nice Tuesday, and remember: gun accidents are hilarious!!! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Dining with Bill in Portland Maine might be more memorable than palatable.
---Beth Collins
BudgetTravel
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