WYFP is our community's Saturday evening gathering to talk about our problems, empathize with one another, and share advice, pootie pictures, favorite adult beverages, and anything else that we think might help. Everyone and all sorts of troubles are welcome. May we find peace and healing here. Won't you please share the joy of WYFP by recommending?
Self confidence: Is it something you can develop if need be? Or fake if you cannot?
I'm not going to go on long about this but recent events (i.e. new job) have made me wonder about my level of self-confidence and how it can hold me back. Or maybe I really mean self-assurance; they are kind of the same thing, a sense of showing the world you are always in control even if things are going wrong. I just wish I was good at it.
What's the cliché -- if you can keep your head while all about you everyone is losing theirs? I seem to be the opposite, not that I go into hysterics or anything. I simply feel like I get rattled too easily when I come across something that I get stuck on and I just feel all helpless and useless instead of plowing ahead and just getting it done.
Part of this is learning on the fly -- the official training only covers the basics and a lot of the time when you come across a new situation it's often telling you what to do in rapid-fire instructions then expecting you to have it mastered for the next time. And I know a lot of this is projection and that I don't come across this way to most of the people I work with; the fact I was made officially full-time proves that (and I have other co-workers who are making me look good).
And yet. I think the aspect I need to work on is apologizing. It seems like I'm always saying I'm sorry for doing this or not doing that or not noticing something. I have to cultivate an attitude of "This is what I meant to do and if unless I hear differently then I'm going to assume it's fine." I think that is the kind of thing that makes me seem weak. Even if no one says anything I second-guess myself and spend time nitpicking my actions after and how I should have done things differently. It doesn't help that I have some stuff that I'm worried aren't fully resolved and will come back to haunt me.
So, that's my stream-of-consciousness. Not sure it even made sense but it's been a really long week. Now it's my turn to listen -- What is Your F&*$ing Problem?