Most of us have heard the old "You might be a redneck if" jokes. One of my favorites was, "You might be a redneck if you mow your front lawn and find an old Ford truck." Another one was, "You might be a redneck if your mother flips her cigarette in the officer's face when he asks to see her license."
Being born and bred in the country I've always found these to be hilarious because I can see a little truth in each one. This diary is meant for nothing more than to entertain and bring out some new ideas. The repubs are very fond of stereotyping Liberals all communist, or all fags or - well you know what I mean.
So, in this diary I'm doing a little political stereotyping of my own based on a lot of observations I've made through the years.
Please add your own and enjoy.
You might be a Republican if:
- You require your wife to wear high heels while she's mowing the lawn.
- You think the flu you had was caused by Obama spraying some sort of virus in the lower atmosphere from Nato jets.
- Your dream for America is that Obama must fail.
- You believe Rush Limbaugh created the earth in seven days.
- Your husband is actually on a hunting trip with the guys.
- You believe that signs like "Keep Off The Grass" are meant only for Democrats and poor people.
- You think Karl Rove looks normal and does not resemble an Alien.
- You think sex should be for procreation only unless it is with that young thing down at the office.
- You believe that corporations should be allowed to marry.
- You require your wife to wear high heels during sex.
- You believe everyone should work for minimum wage except you and your cronies.
- You believe Bachman and Beck should start their own mental health clinics.
- Most diseases can be cured with tax cuts for the wealthy.
- Your dream ticket is Palin and Bachman.
- You view your business partner as an easy mark.
- You view your mother as an easy mark.
- You started evading taxes with an offshore account and support cutting veterans' benefits because you are a patriot.
- If you are not working in a FEMA internment camp.
- You have a child in one of these camps.
- You posses enough guns and bullets to kill the world population seven times over.
- You believe "lying and Cheating 101" should be a college course.