(New York) After learning that Muslims were among the victims of the 9/11 Twin Tower attacks, an outraged Newt Gingrich demanded that Ground Zero be moved to "a more sacred site".
"These Muslims have shown an obvious lack of decorum for the sanctity of Ground Zero," Gingrich said in a one-on-one exclusive interview with Fox and Friends, Steve Doocy. "The thought that the remains of Muslim victims in the 9/11 attacks would have been Islamo-fascistically mixed with those of Judao-Christianish remains is abhorrent to all Americans and will not stand."
"Would you allow Nazi pedophiles to be buried next to your grandmother?"
Doocy angrily interrupted Gingrich’s rhetorical question, "Those bastards! My grandmother is still alive!"
When asked why he was speaking up just now, nine years after the terrorist attacks, Gingrich responded, "Frank Luntz just did a poll and found that Muslim-bashing garners some of the highest poll numbers in the hater category among all Americans."
"And if you haven’t heard," Gingrich smiled, "I am running for president, so stirring up this controversy takes the focus off the article in Esquire about my sordid sex history. There is a reason I have a reptilian name," Newt joked.
When Doocy asked about any concerns Gingrich might have over 1st amendment freedom of religion issues, Gingrich chortled, "Amendment shamendment!"
The former Republican speaker of the house has not yet come out on where he proposes to relocate the site of Ground Zero. However, the North Pole has been leaked as Gingrich’s location of choice for its remoteness from mosques.
Gingrich is on record for having said he likes the North Pole for its "100% purity". And since the former professor of history does not believe in global warming, Gingrich feels the polar ice cap will become the perfect symbol of the permanence of all that he stands for.