From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Paddles up!
You got here just in time for the firing of the starter pistol to kick off the bg event:
ka-THWOOOOOOOMP!!!
Did I say pistol? I meant bazooka. The annual Fall Netroots Nation Auction (which, coincidentally, is how Sean Connery pronounces "oxen") is now open for your viewing and bidding pleasure.
There's something for everyone. Like, fer instance...
>> A rare 1984 computer-shaped Democratic National Convention Jim Beam decanter. The first political item to portend the rise of the netroots? Priceless.
>> The Green Collar Economy signed by Van Jones
>> Chocolate
>> An elaborate doodle by Congressman Raul Grijalva, which he created at the '10 convention in Vegas.
>> A complete set of official 2010 White House wooden Easter eggs
>> Vintage and contemporary jewelry
>> One of Governor Brian Schweitzer's bolo ties
>> Backstage passes to Netroots Nation '11 in Minneapolis
>> What would an auction be without pink flamingos? Dunno---never seen one without pink flamingos, have you?
>> An animated political cartoon by comedian and satirist Matthew Filipowicz, featuring you squaring off against the right winger of your choice.
>> The Marvel Comics edition of The Amazing Spiderman starring Stephen Colbert
>> Autographs, Autographs, Autographs!
And more, more, more. Proceeds go to fund both the annual Netroots Nation convention and its regional events.
Items will be added throughout the auction, so check back often. And if you have an item or two to donate, the process is as easy as wolfing down meta pie---just click here to get started.
Bid early, bid often, bid with gravitas!
Meanwhile Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"We're trying to leverage Bill in Portland Maine fever. Most of his fans are 12 years old---we acknowledge that."
---Sara Haile-Mariam, Campus progress
9/13/10
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Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
And just one more...
JEERS to Old West Airlines. It's bad enough that folks flying from point A to point B get herded like cattle and fed like birds. Now the geniuses behind airline torture have unveiled their latest indignity: the SkyRider airline seat. Or, as it's more popularly known: the saddle. Money quote: "Cowboys ride eight hours on their horses during the day and still feel comfortable in the saddle." (Sure...tell that to Grandma with the double hip replacement.) But it's not all bad: for only five bucks you can rent a pair 'o chaps.
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Five years ago in C&J: September 14, 2005
CHEERS to thumb-sucking Kodak moments. This is the best photo of Bush's response to Katrina yet (and this is NOT PHOTOSHOPPED). It was taken on Tuesday, August 30th moments after it dawned on him that the buck stops with him. Good thing his nappytime blankie was aboard Air Force One.
CHEERS to Day One. The John Roberts confirmation hearings started yesterday amid mostly civil discourse. The nominee for chief justice of the Supreme Court---clad in a polka-dotted shorts with matching handbag---sang a lovely rendition of I Feel Pretty while juggling knives on a unicycle blindfolded. Damn...the one scenario we weren't prepared for.
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Today's Cs and Js
CHEERS to Super Duper Tuesday. Today is the grand finale of primary season, and it's a doozy: if you live in Delaware, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Rhode Island or Wisconsin, get out and do your civic duty along with the rest of the tidal wave of roughly 20 percent of your state's voters who will bother to show up. (Steve Singiser's preview is here.) The race I'll be watching most closely is in Massachusetts, where Barney Frank is being challenged by his arch-nemesis, a dining room table. Fearless prediction: voters will chop her budding political career off at the legs.
JEERS to cleaning up another BP mess. Ken Feinberg has taken over the handling of claims related to the Gulf oil disaster, and he has apparently inherited a gusher of chaos:
The claims facility now processing emergency payments for victims of the Gulf of Mexico oil spill inherited from BP thousands of languishing business claims, a jumbled database and hundreds of individual claims of loss with no documentation...
"When BP had the process, they were totally, absolutely 100% worthless," [charter boat captain Mike] Ellis says. "I filed a claim and they just ignored it, ignored it and ignored it and kept blowing me off." ... "None of the three systems talked to one another," [claims facility manager Camille] Biros says. "It would have been so much easier for us if nothing had been done."
Vive le private sector!
CHEERS to the most mangled lyrics in music history (if you don’t count Feliz Navidad). On September 14, 1814, Francis Scott Key wrote The Star Spangled Banana after witnessing the British bombardment of Fort McHenry during the War of 1812, which apparently ran just a teensy bit overtime. When he signed the 1931 law making it our national anthem, Herbert Hoover performed his greatest act of compassion while in office. Namely, not making us sing the other three frickin' verses.
JEERS to a tempest in a teabagger. Paul LePage (or, as Dante Atkins calls him, "Paul LeRage") is the Republican candidate for governor here in Maine. He's running on a platform of fiscal responsibility. Turn the reins over to me, he says, and I'll whip this state's finances into shape by swinging my ax at those scheming, opportunistic poor people milking the welfare system! Just one little problem---it would appear Mr. LePage is a scheming, opportunistic rich person who's been milking the residency rules in Maine and Florida so he and his wife can dodge taxes and enjoy generous discounts on sending their kids to a state college in Florida. Yesterday, when asked about those discrepancies by reporters at a press conference, he popped a vein, lost his temper and stormed out. (His hissy fit is today's top story---above the fold---in the Portland Press Herald. Oops!) So here we have another case of a Republican who's either hypocritically milking the system for personal gain and lying about it...or a clueless hack who can't manage his household finances without running afoul of the law in 1/25th of all the states in the Union. My question for the teabaggers who think he walks on water is: Which of those scenarios, do you suppose, makes him more qualified to be put in charge of the collective purse strings of the greatest state on earth? Take your time...we've got 49 more days to discuss it.
JEERS to America's love affair with comparing apples and oranges. I don’t need to tell you that the Saudi Muslim extremists responsible for the attacks on 9/11 are not cut from the same cloth as the peaceful American Muslims going about their patriotic business in this country. But apparently there's a huge swath of blockheads in America who do need to be told. A stunning 30 percent of We The Sheeple, according to a new Quinnipiac poll, don’t believe Imam Rauf has a right to build an Islamic peace center in the abandoned Burlington Coat Factory building in lower Manhattan. 63 percent say that, even if he does have a right to build, it would be wrong to. And that makes me 100 percent thankful we have the United States Constitution safely tucked away in the National Archives to protect our liberties from the 63 percent of Americans who have gone schlumpnutty. (Personally I blame fluoride in the water. [twitch twitch])
CHEERS to real men in the big chair. On this date in 1901, 42-year-old Vice President (and one of People magazine's Sexiest Hunks of the New Century) Theodore Roosevelt became Commander-in-Chief when William McKinley died from a gunshot wound. I never thought I'd say this, but...I'm really, really, really glad Bush stayed healthy.
CHEERS to Schoolhouse Barack. President Obama gives his annual speech to America's students today. He'll tell them to study hard, make decisions based on facts, think outside the box, share with others, and be nice to everyone. Or, as the conservative fringe calls it: blasphemy!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: "Cat's have nine lives. This dog might have part cat."
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Anybody think it odd that all of a sudden this "environmental disaster of the century" is now nowhere to be found? What happened to the other liberal media lies like swine flu, toyota brakes, sars, BP oil spill, global warming, etc?
The liberal mainstream media keeps lying and people keep believing that what they spew out as "news" is news when it is just marxist made up propaganda.
---rrgan at Free Republic
Hat tip to noweasels for that lovely submission. All together now: One...two...three... Classy!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the midterm elections: 49
Days `til the Corvallis Fall Festival in Oregon: 11
Rank of Australia, New Zealand and Canada among citizens who are the most charitable in the world (the U.S. is 5th): #1, #2, #3
(Source: Charities Aid Foundation)
Number of consecutive months during which Portland, Maine has had above-normal temperatures: 10
(Source: The Portland Daily Sun)
Percent of cash-register receipts from major retailers that were found to have "significant traces" of BPA, a possible health hazard: 40%
(Source: Environmental Working Group)
Decline in CD deposits at banks insured by the FDIC so far this year, as people move their money into savings and checking accounts: $200 billion
Number of registered Kossacks as of this morning: 265,286
(Source: Jotter)
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Note: Today's C&J is upside down. We regret the inconvenience.
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, September 14, 2010