Actually, Jacob "Dude, you have no Quran" Isom has several dreams. They are modest, and adorable.
His first wish? He'd like to be featured in High Times. Awesome!
Also, he'd like to buy a truck, so he can drive around Amarillo selling pizza by the slice. He's considering auctioning off his skateboard on E-Bay to make that happen. Let the bidding wars begin!
His friends started a Tumblr page to sell this t-shirt. I assume he'll get some of the profits.
Gawker has a charming interview with him, excerpts below.
David's 23. He works at a pizzeria in Amarillo. He says, "If people want to make fun of me for that, they should know I enjoy cooking pizza more than they enjoy their office jobs." Here is his YouTube cooking show. Cheese-steak sandwiches. Yar!
Jacob also enjoys skateboarding, fly fishing, and antagonizing Repent Amarillo, David Grisham's xenophobic church group. "They rant and rave with a bullhorn, and pass judgment," Jacob says. "That's not what Jesus would do. Whatever happened to that saying, anyway? What Would Jesus Do? Maybe we should bring that back."
And he's good at it! In the off-chance you missed the story, here is our Jacob in his moment of triumph:
But as exciting as that was, he has an even bigger dream: "I want to be in High Times. Can you put that in your article? I tried to call them, but you have to use the internet, and I don't know if they'll call back. That's why I was so excited when you called. I thought it might be them, calling back."
Jacob may be famous on the internet, but he says he barely uses the web. "I don't have an iPhone. I don't even have a computer. I don't know who's running this fan page on Facebook about me. I don't even have a Facebook." He created his first email account yesterday, at the behest of friends who are starting a t-shirt company. They don't have an online store, yet, but they launched a Tumblr account yesterday featuring shirts screenprinted with Jacob Isom's face.
It's not the only way Jacob plans to capitalize on his fame: "I'm hoping maybe I can get two rich people to battle for my skateboard on eBay, and I could make enough money to buy a truck and sell pizza by the slice from a truck."
Aw geez! Can we order enough t-shirts to get him a pizza truck? Or do we have to wait for the Great E-Bay Skateboard Auction?
Rock on, Jacob Isom! Dude!