I could do this on Twitter, but screw it. Here goes.
(No, I'm not actually going to be in the DC area around Halloween, although that would be fun.)
Here's my sign slogans, written in support of that salt-and-peppery paragon of logic, Jon Stewart, and his Rally to Restore Sanity:
"Kenyans are from Kenya."
"More than one exclamation point is unnecessary!"
"Hawaii is a state in the union."
"Abstinence is good for when you're not having sex."
"You know who was a lot like Hitler? Hitler."
"Bill Nye was right. Science does rule."
"Hippies and conspiracy theorists: Please vaccinate your kids."
"I'm not guilt-ridden enough to shop at Whole Foods."
"Goose-stepping morons such as yourself should try reading books instead of burning them." --- Prof. Henry Jones Sr.
"Please turn off your cell phone in the movie theater. And unwrap your candy BEFORE the movie starts."
"I'm reasonably sure that you could say the Constitution supports a lot of things."
"When someone says, 'I'm not a politician,' why does this make you want to vote for them? And for that matter, isn't a politician just someone you can cast a vote for?"
"Barack Obama is president of the United States of America."
"Snacks are good in moderation."
"People who burn books are kinda dicks."
"They want to build a mosque because there are Muslims in the area who could use one."
"I don't think Avatar lived up to the hype."
"Respond to cognitive dissonance by doing a little research. Read a book. Consult a newspaper."
"Just say no to all-caps protest signs!"
"That gay dude doesn't sneak peaks at you in the restroom."
"Take a sweater. I heard it's gonna get cold."
"The Founding Fathers would be shocked that we have a black president. Just saying. It would really, really surprise them a lot. They lived in a different world."
"Buy a balanced stock portfolio. I don't know a lot about money I admit, but if you put it all in gold, you might be vulnerable to price fluctuations."
"I'll have a Coke, but please — A reasonable amount of ice."
"Don't vote people in to government who don't believe in government."
"(Half-baked metaphor/wordplay about what we're all here protesting)"
"That temperature you're feeling right now is not what climate means."
"Maybe we should listen to scientists."
"Overhot tea is a leading cause of scalded taste buds. Seriously, it makes everything you eat taste like rubber. So let it cool for a while before drinking."
"Sarah Palin lacks a certain credibility."
"Always remember to bring clean underwear."
"South Carolina goes too far — We're watching you, Colbert."
"I don't think meat should be a dress, but I admit I could be wrong."
"We could use some water so the motherfucker won't burn."
"I think teachers should be paid."
"Gay marriage leads to gays marrying."
"No more Nazis, or Nazi comparisons."