As a Democrat!
Chris Coons did not have sex on a bloody altar with some dude and confuse Wiccans with Satanists.
Chris Coons did not use campaign funds to pay his rent, eat at Ruby fucking Tuesdays, pay his utility bills, or fill up his gas tank while visiting his parents.
More things not about Chris Coons after the flip...
(this is all from memory, by the way)
Chris Coons didn't serve as his own "campaign treasurer" while he wasn't actually a candidate for office.
Chris Coons doesn't think masturbation is evil (as far as I know) and didn't appear on MTV talking about the evils of masturbation.
Chris Coons doesn't think condoms increase the spread of AIDS.
Chris Coons doesn't believe abortion should be banned even in cases of incest or rape.
Chris Coons hasn't cancelled, at the last minute, interviews on Face the Nation or Meet the Press (nor, I believe, has he been invited to interview on said shows).
Chris Coons doesn't think our President, Barack Obama, is "Anti-American".
Chris Coons didn't seek out Sarah Palin's endorsement, nor would he accept it if it were offered.
There are a lot of things I know Chris Coons didn't do, though I do know that his Republican opponent, Christine O'Donnell, has. And as far as I know, the only two things these candidates have in common is the first five letters of their first names.
But I can't tell you, from memory, anything about Chris Coons. Why is that, you wonder? Good fucking question. Maybe someone who knows Chris can write a diary about him, explaining why we want him to be Delaware's next Senator (me, I'm in California fighting Carly Fiorina for Barbara Boxer). Or maybe someone could ask Bob Scheiffer to bring Chris on his show one Sunday before November.
Sure, Christine is fun...we can mock her, make masturbation jokes, and dismiss her as a wing-nut (personally, I'm waiting for the "fucking on a bloody altar" videotape to make it to YouTube). But the bottom line is she's getting a lot more attention than some guy named Chris Coons.
Please, somebody who gives a shit. Help me out with this.
Oh, Chris Coons does, by the way, have a web site:
http://www.chriscoons.com/