I used to have a lot of ideas about how things should be, about what was wrong with the world, and what needed to be fixed. It was satisfying to have that moral clarity, to be confident that there was a right way for things to be, and eventually some sort of global consensus would be reached, like how we used to decide what game to play at recess. I don't think like that anymore.
I spend most of my time working to achieve small and trivial goals. Slight improvements, increased participation. I get a few trees planted every now and then, give a few kids a positive nature experience. I honestly don't believe that what I'm doing is going to change anything. I acknowledge that I'm working against forces far stronger than I, and that many of my life choices are actually feeding those forces. Essentially, I'm wasting my time.
But I'm good with that. Because I'm getting things done, and I'm doing them right. That doesn't mean perfect. It means I'm working within my capabilities, and building relationships on trust. I build slow, and I build strong.
I come back to DK for information and inspiration, and often find it. I write for the same reason. Sometimes I find the frustrations about all the things that are going wrong, or aren't going right...frustrating. I feel the same way about criticisms about President Obama (I still just like writing that!). I have full respect for people who are willing to get their hands dirty, who will step in and try to get things done, in imperfect circumstances, when they know that things could go wrong, and make them look bad. If you're not risking failure, you're not actually doing anything significant, is my opinion.
There's a vow I take every year with my meditation group, which I find very grounding:
Sentient beings are numberless; I vow to save them.
Defilements are inexhaustible; I vow to eradicate them.
The Dharmas are boundless; I vow to master them.
The path to Buddahood is unattainable; I vow to attain it.
It's taken me awhile, but now I'm comfortable with this. I prefer to work against impossible forces - it takes a lot of the pressure off. It means I can celebrate small victories, and I don't have to be disappointed if things don't turn out perfectly. It may be attribution, but I think President Obama works in a similar way. He's working for the good, and he's going about it the best way he knows how. The man is a damn genius - a smart, hard-working, compassionate leader. I've not seen someone like this before in my life, and I have nothing but respect for him.
Today I heard on NPR that he was working to redefine how the US does international aid, in order to be more effective. I don't even need to know the details. I know he's made it better. Has there been anything yet on DK, WP, NYT yet? No. Will there be? Maybe. There are much more interesting things to bicker about, and international aid doesn't really stir up passion like other things do.
I love having a president who cares about these things. I love being able to trust him with them. And before I get a snarkpile of criticism, let me say that I'm a leader. I'm chair for an organisation that does work that I believe in. I don't get paid for any of it. I spend a lot of time and energy working to make our programs better, but I'm working with limited resources. I spend a lot of time dealing with "unnecessary" complications - personality clashes, trust issues, flawed allies. I have an ideal vision of how I'd like things to be, but that has little bearing on the day-to-day reality. A poorly-worded e-mail, or a perceived slight, can set a project back a week or a month or kill it, and I'm constantly reliant on the ongoing good-will, competence, and commitment of many other volunteers, to keep the program running.
I often have people give me advice about what I'm doing wrong, what the program should be doing, and so on. This is almost always from people who have made a minimal contribution, if any, to the program. I usually grit my teeth and thank them, but what I want to say is, "Look, do you think this program just magically appeared? Do you think it's run by fairies and gnomes that show up every night? If you want things to be different, then get involved, and do the work! You're wasting my time, running your mouth, and the only reason I'm pretending to take you seriously is because I'm stupidly optimistic that you might eventually decide to get meaningfully involved.".
I could go on, but you get the point. So for the purpose of discussion, what unattainable projects are you working on?