My new credit card has lately arrived and I'm still reeling. It expires in the year 2013. If you, like me, had been born in 1913, wouldn't it set you back on your heels a bit and leave you slightly shaken? I'm close to the edge of the cliff but if I'm still on planet Earth, I'll be a hundred years old.
Age had been on my mind. On September eleventh Brooklynbadboy posted a beautiful, sensitively written diary telling of his experiences on that cataclysmic day. In it he said, regretfully, words to the effect that his yesterdays were piling up and he had fewer tomorrows to look forward to. He added that he was 27 at the time he wrote about. Nine years have passed since then so he has reached the ripe old age of 36. He seems to be a liberal and tolerant person so I trust he will not be offended if I am amused. I am sixty years older than he is and technically could be his great-grandmother. Then I suddenly remembered my own feelings on the night before my thirtieth birthday. Quite seriously, I thought to myself that although I presumably had plenty of years ahead, metaphorically speaking, I had gathered my rosebuds and real youth was gone forever. At that time of life I had been on the same beam with the writer of that admirable diary.
Now here am I, a doddering old woman who, when she goes outside the house, must use a walker so she won't take an ignominious spill. I can take care of my personal needs like laundry and meals. Once in a while I even cook dinners for the family. In the sharp reversal that all aging parents experience, I am however, dependent for many things on the children who once depended on me. They treat me with respect, deference and TLC. I am never scolded but on rare occasions I receive a gentle but firm reprimand for a mistake. This I accept meekly but with an inward snicker.
My activities are limited so I have time to muse over a lot of things and to fume indignantly and mostly in private, over some of them. A fervent Democrat, I take great interest in national politics and at the moment am nervously waiting for the outcome of the November elections. Here in California one phenomenally wealthy woman is trying to buy the governorship while another hopes to oust the sturdy and principled Barbara Boxer from her Senate seat. I admit that I am strongly prejudiced against the GOP and am outraged at that party's unreasoning opposition to any proposal, no matter how beneficial to the nation's citizenry, made by President Obama. Its sane voices have been drowned out by the likes of Palin, Angle, and O'Donnell.
The world seems much smaller than it once was. Newspapers are shrinking. Phrases quickly become acronyms that have to be explained to me--I have trouble keeping up with them. I have a small library on my precious Kindle but I will always prefer the solidity of real books. As my world shrinks, my eyesight fades and this terrifies me. I realize that as in an engine different parts wear out but as long as I can read I'm all right. I am very deaf so phones are no use to me but my computer provides a means of communication with family and friends I don't see often and also enables me to keep up with news.
Life is bland and rather monotonous these days but mine has more pluses than minuses. We play with the cards we're dealt and I've been lucky in having a good hand. I have no urge to set a record for longevity. Most sincerely do I wish Brooklynbadboy many happy returns on his next birthday but it's different for me. It's getting to be high time for the game to be over and I can do without returns.