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The deep sorrow I feel over the senseless death of Tyler Clementi will not end soon. First let me say that I do not know Tyler or his parents personally. All of my information is from the news.

Of course I am deeply saddened to see a young man who should be on top of the world do something like this and my heart goes out to the parents. But how can we rest while we live in a society that compels a wonderful person to commit suicide over a sexual preference?

Why did this young man feel so humiliated that he took his own life? At this point we must believe that our culture's oppressive homophobia is the main reason. Perhaps more information about Tyler and his home situation will lead us in a different direction later. But for now, it looks like our nation lost a promising young man and a mother and father lost a son because Tyler Clementi would rather take his own life than drown in the Niagara of hate and fear that our society pours on Gays.

Unlawful invasion of privacy didn't kill Tyler Clementi. Homophobia killed him. I say this because I don't think we would have seen the same result if Tyler was having hetero sex broadcast on Facebook. If Tyler was having hetero sex broadcast on the net, there would have been high fives all around. Why don't we see the high fives for homo sex? Should there be any shame for being attracted to someone of your own sex?

I want to do whatever I can to remove social stigma for any possible combination of two consenting adults who want to make each other happy. Homophobia must be defeated. Don't ask don't tell must end. Tyler Clementi's death is a tragedy that will haunt me for a very long time.

Originally posted to Bubbatoby on Fri Oct 01, 2010 at 04:39 PM PDT.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (13+ / 0-)

    "Problems cannot be solved by the level of awareness that created them", Albert Einstein

    by Bubbatoby on Fri Oct 01, 2010 at 04:39:52 PM PDT

  •  This news "story" has hit me as well. (0+ / 0-)

    I'm a "conservative" registered Republican and it is such an incredibly sad story.  We can only speculate what pressures Tyler must have been feeling but while there is much homophobia in our culture, it is difficult for me to believe that societal pressures outweighed family pressures.

    Not blaming the family...and my deepest condolensces to them.  It's just that I wish that more people (and families) would understand what homosexuality is and undestand it is not something to be stigmatized.

    Sad, just incredibly sad.

    We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. Albert Einstein

    by theotherside on Fri Oct 01, 2010 at 05:00:05 PM PDT

    •  Why? What causes you to make such a (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      john07801, GlowNZ

      statement?  (Typed while shaking my head)

      it is difficult for me to believe that societal pressures outweighed family pressures.

      Enough already. Stand up and fight. If you lose, you lose, but at least you tried. That's all I ask.

      by gooderservice on Fri Oct 01, 2010 at 05:20:45 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  To be sure, my statement is more of a gut (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        reaction and it could be off base.

        But among many feelings, one "feeling" is that if Tyler knew he had support at home for who he was, perhaps he would have not been as despondent over his roommate doing a despicable thing as he was.

        Could this be an overly emotional reaction to this sad news?  Perhaps.  But on average, I think that gays raised in a supportive family environment may be better able to cope.

        But perhaps I'm wrong and the family was super supportive of Tyler being gay.  And that's not meant sarcastically.  It's just difficult to know since the family, rightfully, has been trying to deal with this privately.

        We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. Albert Einstein

        by theotherside on Fri Oct 01, 2010 at 05:35:29 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  I feel devastated as well, (5+ / 0-)

    and I also did not know him.  I am struggling with my rising anger at Wei and Ravi.  I hope Rutgers kicks them out. I would like to kick them out of humanity.  Ironically, something very similar happened at Cornell about six or seven years ago.  An Asian girl was videotaped having sex and it was shown publicly.  She dropped out of school.  The guilty parties, one of them the child of a trustee it seems, continued on with a slap on the wrist.  She ended up in a psyche ward for awhile.

    Longing for a return to decency and civility.

    by Percheronwoman on Fri Oct 01, 2010 at 05:18:57 PM PDT

    •  Percheronwoman, what did the perpetrators' lives (0+ / 0-)

      turn out to be? Did they go on enjoying their power and privilege blithely?

      LBJ & Lady Bird, Sully Sullenberger, Molly Ivins, Barbara Jordan, Ann Richards, Drew Brees: Texas is No Bush League! -7.50,-5.59

      by BlackSheep1 on Fri Oct 01, 2010 at 06:21:49 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  I had hoped, I really had, (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    that things had changed since I was a gawky teenager enduring freshman year with a secret.  It seems the only thing that has changed is that cruelty has a new and more highly effective medium through which to spew its poison.  

    Homophobia is the last acceptable prejudice, and we can't seem to let go of it.  It's twenty freaking ten, and we can't let go of it...

    No politician ever lost an election by underestimating the intelligence of the American public. PT Barnum, paraphrased...

    by jarhead5536 on Fri Oct 01, 2010 at 06:22:35 PM PDT

    •  Actually, the last acceptable (0+ / 0-)

      prejudice is making fun of fat people. Not that homophobia isn't still alive and well in too damned many places, but harassing the overweight is still a sport that anyone can take part in and not catch flack.

      Information is abundant, wisdom is scarce. The Druid

      by FarWestGirl on Sat Oct 02, 2010 at 03:00:18 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Just send the body home (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    In my nearly sixty years I've seen scores of cases where parents of gay children came to claim the bodies of their children who died suddenly either by suicide or from complications of AIDS when the parents didn't even know they were sick.

    I've seen parents cancel memorial services because they couldn't perpetuate their denial in a room where LGBT friends gathered and told the truth about their departed friend.

    While social media and the ubiquity of personal video cameras with the ability to broadcast appears to have played a part in Tyler's decision, more and more its effects are for the good.

    Even in Tyler's case, we see the actions of his tormentors through their tweets, and in many other cases we can reconstruct the final days before these kids took their own lives.

    We've always had LGBT kids who didn't make it through the torture of growing up different, but we often never knew the truth because the parents ran in and covered up the evidence.

    Now maybe the world can see what those of us who lived childhoods like Tyler faced and how many stories there are like Tyler's.

    When I was a child, the Tylers were excused as having been "depressed" and the parents and relatives mourned that they "never knew what was wrong."

    Sometimes, I'm sure that's true. But I know from hearing too many parents say, "Just send the body home," that a lot of them knew exactly what happened and were no more ready to deal with it in death than they were when their child was alive.

    The sorrow and the anger is devastating.

    If it were true, they couldn't say it on Fox News. -6.62 -5.90

    by PBCliberal on Fri Oct 01, 2010 at 10:35:14 PM PDT

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