I was rather disappointed with the GOPTEA party's Pledge to America, not just because I disagreed with it (though I do, but because it seemed so milquetoast and lacking in verve) So I decided I'd take a hack at it for them myself. I think this best sums up what they really want (so far as possible). As far as I'm concerned, it's open source, so if any aspiring "conservative" aspirants to politics want to use it, I'd say, "Go ahead, make my day!"
If you vote for us in 2010, we pledge to guarantee real Americans like you:
- The right to fairness—No one ever gave you anything, and yet you overcame and here you are! Now, liberal Democrats want to take that away from you by giving other people things you never got, like guaranteed life saving medical care and better educational opportunities. THAT’S NOT FAIR—and if you elect us, we’ll make sure it never happens. We’ll make sure you’re treated fairly by keeping those unearned privileges away from undeserving people, so they’ll never have it better than you did.
- The right to be right—It makes us sick when people try to tell you you’re wrong about things we all know are right. We’ll stop those liberal, Democratic know it alls from pulling their usual gambits with their fancy “facts” or “data”. You know you’re right, and so do we, and we’ll make sure they know it too.
- The right to your property—Your right to your property is absolute, and we’ll make sure it’s protected—no matter what! If you elect us, we’ll put an end to liberal-Democrat programs designed to protect “the economy” or the “environment.” Those concerns stop at the end of your fist, and if anyone doesn’t like it, we’ll just shoot them.
- The right to your rights—Real Americans have the right to carry loaded automatic firearms into kindergartens. Real Americans have the right to drive trucks that get a mile to the gallon. These are the rights our founding fathers died for, and we’ll make sure that no one takes them away from you. And don’t worry, we won’t be fooled by those Liberal Democrat gambits to legalize marijuana or abortion—the only rights we care about are the rights of Real Americans—Yours!
- The right to end wasteful government entitlements—the government wastes a lot of money on spending for all kinds of people who don’t deserve it and don’t need it. We’ll cut that spending so more money is left over for the programs that matter to you. We will keep the government out of your Medicare, and out of real American institutions like our police and Armed Forces, too.
- No taxes for you—You shouldn’t have to pay taxes. You’re a Real American—smart, bold, inventive. You earned your money through your hard work and know how. Taxes are for suckers and losers. We’ll find those suckers and losers and tax them, so you never have to pay taxes again.
- The right not to be called a racist — You’re not a racist—You’re a Real American. You have the right to your opinion, and if it’s your opinion that some people are better than other people, that’s your right. (And we think you’re right!) We’ll put a stop to baseless charges of racism by putting a stop to the racists who want to destroy your culture by calling you a racist.
- We will do whatever it takes to succeed—Our goal is to protect your rights, and we won’t let anything get in our way. If we have to destroy reputations, so be it. If we have to tear up families, this we will do. If we have to destroy lives, it is a small price to pay.
THAT IS OUR CONTRACT WITH YOU!!! VOTE TEA-GOP 2010