Dear Diary,
I turned 11 years old today. I’m not a little girl any more! I got lots of great presents, and I had a pretty cake, and it was fun. But I had to celebrate with mom. That sucked. I really really hate mom lately. I hate the way she talks and I hate the things she makes me do and I hate the rules she sets. I hate the way she dresses, with her stupid blue shirt and her stupid blue car.
I wish I could have spent my birthday with dad. He’s so much more fun. And he always wears red. I like that.
Mom and dad are so different. And they argue all the time – thank goodness they haven’t lived together the last two years. But the awful part is: I’ve been stuck with mom.
And just listen to how horrible it’s been:
Mom has all these rules. I have to be in bed by 9:00. I have to do chores. I can’t watch too much TV. If I break the rules I get in trouble, or get grounded. I hate it. Dad lets me do whatever I want. I can watch whatever I want on TV and stay up as late I want.
Mom always makes me recycle stuff. After I finish drinking a juice box she yells at me if I throw it in the trash. "Put that in the recycling bin," she tells me. Who cares? Dad throws out his beer cans and bottles and lets me put all my juice boxes in the trash. It’s so much easier.
Mom makes me eat fruits and vegetables. And she makes me go to the doctor and the dentist. Which I hate. "Being healthy is important," she says. She even makes me go outside and exercise. And drink milk. It’s way more fun at dad’s. I eat whatever I want and he never makes me get shots or brush my stupid teeth. Why can’t mom be as nice to me as dad is?
Mom makes me do all my homework. Every night. And she checks it. The other night I had to write a paragraph about the first Thanksgiving. I didn’t know much about it so I made some stuff up. It was fine. But mom got mad and told me I needed to read my book and learn and "get the facts" before writing about it. Dad would never do that. "You’re entitled to your own opinion," he always tells me, "and no one can tell you what to think." Mom’s way is so much slower and harder.
Mom gets mad about stupid stuff, too. At school I got in trouble for hitting this new girl. No one likes her – she wears a scarf all day over her head, even if it’s warm out! She’s so weird. Mom found out and grounded me. She said, "just because someone dresses differently from you doesn’t mean you can be mean to them." Dad would never have taken that girl’s side over mine. He laughs at weird people all the time! It’s fun. We even saw two boys kissing! Dad pretended to throw up, so I did too! The scarf girl isn’t from here like we are. Why doesn’t she just go back where she came from? Then I bet she wouldn’t get picked on.
Mom won’t even let me go to the amusement park. She says it’s too expensive. She says we have to be smart about how we spend our money. Thank goodness dad’s not like that. We go every time I see him and he always buys me lots of stuff, and he always puts a $5 bill in my pocket before I leave. If mom loved me she would let me do the stuff I want to do, too.
I hate mom. I wish I could live with dad. I don’t understand why mom won’t let me. She says dad is bad for me, and that he sets a bad example. She says when I’m older I’ll understand – like I’m too stupid to know better! I’m not stupid! I like putting my garbage where I want to and eating junk food and doing fun things and watching TV instead of doing my homework. Dad understands that, and really loves me, and that’s why he lets me.
Why can’t mom be like that?
Yesterday I had to turn in an essay called "My Hero" about someone who I look up to. I wrote it about my dad. I even drew a picture of him wearing his red shirt. I hope mom doesn’t get mad when she sees it, but, if she does I hope she tries to be more like dad. That would make me so happy! Then maybe my next essay could be about her.
Goodnight diary.
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A few years ago I read a piece – wish I could find it or remember where I saw it – comparing Democrats’ love of country with Republicans’. Both love their country, the author believed, they just did so differently. My memory of it is as follows:
Republicans love their country as a small child loves her mommy. It’s an immature, non-specific, innate love that they can’t really explain. Mommy is, and always has been, perfect. Mommy can do no wrong. Anyone who says anything bad about mommy, or thinks mommy should change, is a terrible person. Mommy is the best mommy in the world. The child hugs and kisses her mommy just because, happy in the knowledge that mommy will always always be there no matter what.
Democrats love their country as a mother loves her child. It’s a mature, nurturing, purposeful love that they value because they understand how precious it is. The child is wonderful but needs rules and structure to be safe and happy. The child needs words of encouragement but also occasional scolding. The child is special and wonderful, but must be raised to respect other children as well. The mother hugs and kisses her child to let her know she cares about her, knowing that although it is incredibly hard, raising her correctly will make her a strong and confident young woman who will be successful in the world.
As I drove to work this morning, it struck me that the way voters respond to the messages of the two parties can be compared to parent-child relationships as well. I believe many voters – distracted, uninterested, preoccupied, easily misled, etc. – gravitate towards Republican messaging because it’s just... easier. It asks little of them. It delivers short-term results. It appeals to their base instincts. It assumes they are stupid, and they happily acquiesce.
The Democratic party instead often expects them to understand complexity and nuance, put themselves in the shoes of others, plan for the long-term, and sacrifice to get there. This is much less comfortable. A more mature, informed public would see the difference. But that is not our public. Our public is like an 11-year old child, short attention span and short memory, responding on a moment-by-moment basis to whatever idea sounds more fun, more easily completed, less taxing, or more rewarding.
I’d love to leave you with an uplifting George Lakoff-style discussion of how to change this – fix it, so that next time would be different – but I can’t. There are so many huge and immovable factors that contribute to the problem: lobbying and campaign finance, lack of basic understanding of government, intricate framing and language used to deceive voters, appeals to fear and bigotry and hate, real economic concerns that trump all else.
But maybe a start to solving the problem is understanding it. I for one think we need to simplify the message.
11-year old girls don’t get to vote for their favorite parents.
If they did, how many would choose Christine O’Donnell? She seems fun.