When I joined Daily Kos not so long ago I was pushed into joining by my son, who told me, "There is no better community site for liberals. Period. You've got to actually join the community to get the full effect." So...here I am.
Now, in my time here I have noticed many great things about this community. Heartfelt diaries praising our men and women in uniform for their service. Calls to action. Diaries seeking help for members of our wonderful community. The kind of diaries that make you realize that you are lucky to be a part of such a caring and compassionate community.
And then there's a darker side...
Name calling.
Needless hyperbole.
Threadjacking.
All of these behaviors can be ascribed to some members of this community. Sure, that happens. Sometimes we get angry and redfaced and sit there and just type the first thing that comes to our minds. And that has been incredibly prevalent now that the elections are over.
And now there seem to be two very loud, very belligerent "sides" in an annoying little "team" war that has erupted here. Sometimes I read exchanges in comment threads and laugh until I'm blue at the hyperbole. Sometimes I cringe at the hate being hurled.
So...is this what we're relegated to? Hmmm? Hurling invectives and screaming hyperbolic nonsense at each other? Because that's what talking PAST someone looks like. Here's an example:
"Grayson 2012!"
and another:
" Obama is the greatest President since FDR! I love my President!"
What's wrong with these statements is that they do nothing to enhance civility or debate. The first is a mindless call for primary that will do little but anger a person from the other "team." The second is a thoughtless comment that, again, does not advance debate or civility and will likely garner the jeers of kossacks critical of the President. The biggest problem is that that is exactly the intent of many commentors!
What can we do about this lack of civility? Well...here are a few ideas.
1. Leave out words like "always" and "never". Comments that deal in absolutes are a bit annoying, i.e. "Obama ALWAYS fights for us!" and "Obama ALWAYS lets us down!" Comments like those are unhelpful and bitter, and absolutes are easily disproven in a debate.
2. Leave your hyperbole at the door. Please? I get really tired of reading comments that go so far into hyperbolic territory that they look like jokes. "I want Obama's ass GONE!" is a good example. And "Democrats don't have the guts to order a burger at McDonalds without cowering to the clerk!"
3. Stop with some of the hateful rhetoric I've seen here. "So and so's got no balls I tell ya!" Yeah. That's really tiring. Or "you've got your head up your ass, dude!" or "stop being an ostrich and see the light, man!"
4. Don't rec someone just because you agree with all of the things that they've said previously, or because they're on your "team." Evaluate how the comment is being taken by other Kossacks, and then, if you believe that that particular comment is worthy of a rec, then go right ahead. I've gotten in trouble for that before, and I've been much more careful as of late.
5. If you've Hr'ed someone that deserved it, but ignored an equally odious comment from someone with whom you normally agree, you're not being fair to our concept of community moderation.
6. Breathe before you post a comment. I've been doing that, and when I get pissed I take a breath and move on. That way I usually wind up forgetting about the person that pissed me off, and everything is fine again.
7. If you're in a thread and you're being rebuked, STOP DIGGING. Just because you post a hundred comments in a single thread doesn't mean you're getting more right with each post! It's one thing to answer questions or to debate other users...but threadjacking is annoying and you're not doing yourself any favors by engaging in it.
8. Be respectful and thoughtful to users you might have been nasty to in the past, or with whom in the past you've had a big problem. Sometimes when you have a beef with another user, a "let's bury this and restart, okay?" can go a long way. Well...it would with me, anyway.
9. If you ask for a link or further information from someone, even if it refutes your argument, read and study the link carefully and then respond to the information. I don't think that's a huge problem, but it's a valid point nonetheless.
and...
10. It never hurts to admit that you got it wrong. I have a big problem with that sometimes; yet when I am "refudiated" as Palin might say, though it might hurt, I have to admit to being wrong.
I hope this didn't come off as being a lecture or anything demeaning. I just love this site and want us to be able to bury our hatchets and move forward. I'm tired of the "I'm right and you're just a (insert epithet here)" attitudes.
So if we're going to affect meaningful change in our communities we're going to have to stop the gridlock right here first. Going round and round with your "teammates" might be fun to some, but to those of us that want to advance an honest debate it can get quite tiresome.
Thanks, as always, for listening.