F.O.O. boys & girls & children of all ages, I'm grateful for my job - truly, I am! However, coming back to work after a week off full of relaxation, sleeping in, eating excessively, etc SUCKS...well...it sucks what's on THE cake that I get to bring out for someone's birthday for "this day in history!" Bringing that out always makes me smile, so I got that goin' for me!
BUT FIRST, here's the news that brought on the depression train last night; Frank Drebin has gone to the great Police Squad in the sky where the coffee is always hot, doughnuts never run out, and no one calls him "Shirley." Thanks for the laughs!
Let's get SPARKy for Nov. 29! This poor elephant either (a) had too much turkey or (b) was broken - hearted that its favorite toy was sold out on Friday. AAAaaaWWWwww!! I think I've discovered the "source" of $aint $arah from Wasilla thinking that North Korea is our ally - well, that, or she just wacked the head off the wrong turkey & was wrought with grief. Some students at the University of Maryland are REALLY readying themselves for a season of gluttony! And, finally, in the Barney Fife Law Enforcement Award (props to Bob & Tom!), I'm very awfully glad that events along our southern border have calmed down enough to warrant THIS stop!
Now, for the birthday today worthy of THE cake, if you've read Revival, then you know that a certain previous White House CoS who had ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS being White House CoS but is now running for mayor of Chicago is 51 today. I hope he ate too much this past weekend, got a really bad tummy ache, and spent most of the weekend kneeling in front of or sitting on the porcelain god! For your role in putting the kibosh on any hope of this administration undertaking ANY of the change for which millions of people voted, dive into this treat with the invitation to GO CHENEY YOURSELF!
Let's Countdown! And, since it's officially 'tis the season, and I need something to make me smile, I offer this classic of the season. :D
#5 "Compromising Position" AKA "Debtors Acrimonious" - President Obama is going to "negotiate" with Small Price to Pay Goldilocks & Mitchie McConnell at the White House tomorrow. Is "negotiate" another word for "compromise" which is another word for "Can you use more Vaseline when I bend over next time?"? Unemployment benefits are going to expire for a whole lotta people in the next day or so, but the GOBP says that simply adding those benefits to the deficit would be irresponsible, but extending GWB’s tax cuts for the ultra – rich to add to the deficit is just fine & dandy. And, what’s with this executive branch salary freeze & not affecting Congress critters?! Do the "salary freeze" on the rich douche nozzles – like Rep. Daryl "Creaming Jeans at the Subpoenas" Issa!
Even Maxie Baucus didn’t like the similar GOBP proposal when they voiced it awhile ago? And, how much exactly do most "federal civilian employees" make? I’d wager it’s sub - $100K. If it’s more than that, I am SO in the wrong line of work! Senator Chuck Schumer is offering the following compromise in the GWB tax cut extension debate:
There’s a strong view in the caucus that if we make the dividing line $1 million, it becomes a very simple argument: we are for giving the middle class a tax break; they’re for tax cuts for the millionaires.
Huh...how do y’all feel about that? Senator Dick Durbin wants any compromise with the GOBP on this issue to be linked with the extension of unemployment benefits. Will a "super – majority" be necessary on that idea? If so, ain’t no way is that gonna happen. Senator – elect Mark Kirk is being a good little GOBPer & regurgitating all the proper talking points. David Stockman is still taking NOT to extend GWB’s tax cuts. How many GOBPers are calling President Reagan’s budget director a dirty stinkin’ pinko commie socialist Nazi librul? Did I forget any of the invectives? OOPS! Yep, I did; I forgot Kenyan!
Ezra Klein gets to talk GWB tax cut extensions & "compromise" with the GOBP. And, Ezra NAILED IT. To paraphrase him, Dems just can’t stand good fortune; I guess it’s like finger nails on an old – timey blackboard to them. They are on the side with the majority of the American people on this tax cut issue but still feel the need to fight among themselves. Well, considering "Dem" covers everyone from SENATOR Al Franken (suck on it, BillO!) to...well...THIS GUY, I guess it’s a miracle there’s not more fighting more often.
Wow, Ezra must’ve had his Wheaties today. He said the unemployed aren’t "politically powerful." Yea, ain’t THAT the damn truth. And, did y’all hear that ThinkProgress stat? If these unemployment benefits are allowed to expire, it’ll be the first time in 40 years that these benefits have expired with an unemployment rate above 7.2%. HAPPY HOLIDAYS! *&^%$#@! Ezra called Senator Schumer’s idea better than nothing but still bad. That lovely popular deficit commission is scheduled to officially complete its work this week because they’ve been SO SUCCESSFUL up to this point {insert retching noise here}. Former Senator Alan Simpson (a real ladies’ man), whose history is full of not being thrilled with Social Security, is ready to gut Social Security and make people work ‘til they drop – LITERALLY. So, does former Senator Simpson take his Social Security checks? Well, I guess we can be thankful that former – Senator Simpson spread his "media love" all over the spectrum! ;D
Heather McGhee, Washington Director for DEMOS, has some deficit reduction ideas, too. Her group & others had the AUDACITY to think of what’s best for the middle class in their deficit reduction calculations?! HEATHEN SOCIALIST NAZI KENYAN COMMIE UNAMERICAN STINKIN’ ARUGULA – EATIN’ PINKOS! {insert sigh of relief here} I think I got ‘em all this time! The modernizing & expansion of this country’s revenue base is a must for ANY meaningful deficit reduction that won’t result in a whole lot of Americans ending up in prisons or workhouses. They are also proposing ideas like secretaries paying a lower tax rate than their CEO boss??!! What is this – sparkin’ Canada or something??!! ;D Taxing economically – risky speculation would do wonders, too. Ms. McGhee’s not thrilled with that 2 – year pay freeze idea.
#4 "Secrets Revealed" AKA "Enemies of Our Enemies" - Most of what WikiLeaks published just demonstrates that what this country thinks about North Korea & Iran is wrong; file that under "No $hit, Sherlock!" NEXT!? China & North Korea just might not be BFFs after all. Other Middle Eastern leaders would just love love LOVE for Iran to be bombed back to the Stone Age. Well, then, THEY can do it! Wow, if Iran does get the bomb, and President Holocaust Denier does his Major Kong impersonation, a third of Israelis would leave Israel! Which would make Israelis the "minority"! Which would make Palestinians the "majority"!
I just love Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson! He thinks the whole Israel demographic revelation isn’t really a revelation to those in the know. He’s not thrilled with the cable leaks but doesn’t think a whole lot of damage has been done except to people’s pride, maybe. Colonel Wilkerson doesn’t think the rift between China & North Korea is THAT huge, but China probably does think North Korea is a big ‘ol pain in their egg rolls. ;D
** Check out the subways in India! Women are kicking guys’ a$$es and taking names! AND, if anyone caught & correctly identifies the movie line that Keith paraphrased, I will give you a hearty hand shake, a pat on the back, and the warm glow of victory. :D A couple of hockey announcers nearly got run down by a zamboni. Well, that would’ve been more exciting than the hockey game probably! **
#3 "Delayed START" - Senator Susan Collins wants permission from GWB’s Daddy & GWB before agreeing to vote on the new START treaty. Yea, GWB was a foreign policy SOOOPER GENIUS! Frakkin’ everyone else from former SOSs to former defense dudes & dudettes are all over the new START treaty. Huh, that’s not good enough for GOBP "moderates?" My other Senator, Dick Lugar, is telling his GOBP colleagues to grow the spark up & vote on the damn thing. And, the likelihood of Senator Lugar getting tea bagged in a primary in this state are about the same as GWB, DICK, and $aint $arah from Wasilla granting me interviews in which I’m allowed to inject them with truth serum every time they fib – NOT...GONNA...HAPPEN! Lawrence Korb gets to talk START – or non START. If START goes the way of Crystal Pepsi, Putin will be more powerful. Well, GWB looked into the dude’s soul; maybe, THAT’S why Senator Collins is asking "Mother, may I?" to the Bush boys! ;D Keith, you really had to ask why Senator Kooky Kyl wants to put the kibosh on START?! You should know better than that! Repeat after me; the current state of the GOBP only wants to politically & personally embarrass President Barack Obama. The current state of the GOBP only wants to politically & personally embarrass President Barack Obama. The current state of the GOBP only wants to politically & personally embarrass President Barack Obama. The current state of the GOBP only wants to politically & personally embarrass President Barack Obama. GOT IT?!
WPITW* An Eastern German DIYer managed to wall himself into his basement. He’s a big ‘ol fan of Poe! Jabba the Ailes can’t decide what came from the Onion & what’s real news. $aint $arah from Wasilla’s daughter’s done an abstinence – only ad. Huh, I guess she found a time machine that made her think she’s still a virgin – UNLESS, her son came from an immaculate conception! Get Levi on the phone STAT! HA! :D
#1 "Leslie Nielsen 1926 – 2010" - I don’t wanna think about his serious stuff; his serious stuff ain’t silly! I don’t wanna see bad 1950s television!! BOO!!! Here’s Airplane! That’s more like it!! :D OK, how many of y’all besides me are quoting the movie lines along with me? And, there’s Frank Drebin. ;D It’s Enrico Palazzo! :D And, he always carried a whoopee cushion. Now, THAT’S preparation!