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It seems that wherever I go, a horrible team is waiting there for me.
You all know that I left Maryland some months ago, and at the time, the Orioles were the Worst Team in Baseball. So, of course, what do they do? They hire Buck Showalter, who helped the Yankees transition from losers to playoff contenders in the mid-1990’s, and was the first manager of the Arizona Diamondbacks, before they got two staff aces and beat the Yankees in the 2001 World Series.
And they started winning. By the end of the season, the Orioles weren’t the Worst Team in Baseball anymore. That honor went to the team five hours drive away; the Pittsburgh Pirates, who one could argue have been the Worst Team in Baseball for sixteen years.
So, where do I move? Well, of course, I move to Charlotte, and the home of the Worst Team in Professional Football, the 1-12 Carolina Panthers. It has been miserable. In fact, to be honest, the Panthers should have zero wins—they beat the 49ers by seven points in October, who are also awful, but have a chance at a division title in the Worst Division in Professional Football, the NFC West.
I had a chance to watch the game last week, but decided on a nap instead. I also had a chance to attend last week’s game, but decided against it, as it was cold and rainy; not conditions you want to go watch a miserable team play. Besides, Atlanta crushed them, 31-10. I also had a chance to go to the ACC Championship—also cold, also rainy, also a blowout win by Virginia Tech over Florida State (yay!).
Of course, this means I will be attending the home finale of the Carolina Panthers, who face off against the woeful Arizona Cardinals…who by virtue of being in the NFC West still have a chance at a playoff berth! They’re 4-9, and two games out of the division. In fact, if the 49ers lose tomorrow in San Diego, and the Rams and Seahawks lose on Sunday, the Cardinals will have a chance to win that division, by beating the Panthers.
So why would I want to see these two horrible teams play?
I don’t, really. I just want out of this apartment for a while. And here’s a real kicker: I got tickets in the swanky 300 Club Level—a face value of between $200-$400 via TicketMaster—for $36 (including fees). See, when a team is as bad as the Panthers are, or the Bobcats, tickets cost almost nothing. However, I’m thinking I just pulled a heist. I mean $36, for those seats! And I don’t even have to drive up there (Taking bus to light rail, and stadium is four blocks from stop).
I win. The Panthers might not, but I win.
And that concludes this Vent-Hole for me. Next week, I’m heading to Georgia. I’ll return to HQ by Saturday, and should be okay for the 12/29 IVH post. Until then…Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
Nick Lachey and Jamy Ian Swiss are Craig's guests tonight!